Sunday, May 10, 2015

Happy Mothers Day From A Non-Mother

It's still raining outside.....the leaves on the trees are blowing at a steady pace and the chimes outside are ringing strong.  The weatherman says rain the whole day long.....its Mothers Day.....and the heaven's are crying.

How appropriate for THIS year......

My sweet friend lost her ability to bear a child this Mothers Day weekend.....the irony in that hasn't moved past me.  I'm sure it hasn't on her either.

I remember Mothers Day growing up in church.  I remember the women who were mothers were given corsages as they walked into church and they always asked all the mothers to stand.  I thought this was a noble thing....never gave much thought to those still sitting....until I was old enough to stand but couldn't.

Since finding out I would never be one of those who could stand, I have screamed a number of times at God, using just one 3-letter word....."WHY"??

I heard silence.

And I'm sure my sweet friend has, and will, as well in the next few days...months...years ahead.

But what I've discovered.....having been able to walk this journey a ways....stop...and look I truly believe God was doing me a favor.  He had my back.  There are a few of us women in this world that He places His hand gently on and says, "I have something far greater for You than a child".....and we scratch our heads....shed a few tears....scream a few "WHY's" and He patiently says "Just'll understand one day."

Now don't get me wrong.....I don't believe for a second that God was responsible for me not having children.  It was always His plan for us to multiply and to be blessed with children.  I believe SIN was responsible for me not having children....but I believe God saw a fix...a better plan....for me than having children.  He saw a better plan for my sweet friends Becky, and Cathy, and Georgia, and Sandee, and Kathy, and Jackie, and Ann, and the many many many other friends that never felt what it feels like to hold a tiny bundle of their own DNA in their arms and hear its first words say "Mom".

He saw an opportunity to turn bad into good and, as Romans 8:28 says, "And we KNOW that God CAUSES everything to work together for the GOOD to those who love God."  Did you get that?   


I can't see past today.....past this very second I'm living right now...but I know God does...and I know God loves me....and I know God is good for His word....and I know He has something much greater than a child in store for me.

This excites me.

And I love clinging to this promise.....I love knowing that the disappointment of not feeling a tiny little hand in mine that I helped create.....the heartbreak of knowing I will never witness a high school graduation of a child of my own.....the loss of never seeing a child of mine walk down the aisle and start a life of their own.....the empty arms of never holding my grandchild I helped make.....I love knowing that God has something even GREATER than all of this for me.

And after saying all of this, I read the words of Jesus speaking directly to me today, as He does most every day, through my Jesus Calling for May 10: "Do not resist or run, Liz, from the difficulties in your life.  These problems are not random mistakes; they are hand-tailored BLESSINGS designed for YOUR BENEFIT and GROWTH.  Embrace all the circumstances that I ALLOW in your life, Liz...Becky...Cathy....Sandee....Georgia....Kathy...Jackie....and all the other non-Mom's....trusting Me to bring GOOD OUT OF THEM. "

And as I help honor those women today who were given the blessing of having children of their own, I....and all the other non-Moms who were touched by God for a greater purpose.... am safe and secure in the fact that God has a plan for us.  He has a mighty plan for our lives that we couldn't accomplish had we had children. 

So, wipe those tears away and ENJOY THIS DAY......Enjoy knowing that He loved you enough to give you something even better....

He gifted you with GRACE.

Sunday, May 3, 2015

What Is Your Greatest Fear?

So two Thursdays ago, we had the 12,000th storm this Spring blow through around 11:00 pm.  I was barely asleep when I first heard the wind chimes hanging in the tree outside the screen porch banging against each other.  That's my way of knowing how strong the night storms how loud the chimes are ringing.  I sat straight up in bed....they were ringing loud and hard.

I fear storms.

Many years ago, I lived in Highland Village, a town just outside of Dallas.  We hadn't lived in our new house long when a storm blew through one night and our roof was hit by one of the many bolts of lightening.  I was awakened to the house shaking, crashing glass and the smell of gas.  Our furnace vent on the roof had taken a direct hit and the lightening bolt literally lifted our roof and set it back down. Every electrical appliance in the house had been destroyed.  Every picture on every wall had fallen off.  Every light fixture had blown out its bulb.  And our furnace had now been disconnected from the gas line and the house was filling up with natural gas.

I lived in fear of storms from that moment on. 

As I got out of bed to keep my eye on the storm passing over us two Thursdays ago, I found myself engulfed in that same fear once again.  So much so, that I kneeled down in the middle of the living floor....begging God to stop the winds from blowing and the lightening from striking and to strengthen my faith in Him to protect us.  I repeated the Lord's Prayer and the 23rd Psalm over and over was the only ones I could remember perfectly at that moment.....when I felt led to get up off the floor and open my Bible. 

It opened to Psalm 27.

And the first thing my eyes saw was a note I had written in the margin years before.... 

"In Case Of An Emergency, Read Me First".  

And I smiled in the midst of the wicked storm blowing outside.....knowing God had me write those words to myself years ago....for this very day.

"The Lord is my light and my salvation - so why should I be AFRAID? 
The Lord is my fortress, PROTECTING me from danger, so why should I tremble?"
Psalm 27

And in the words of one of my favorite authors, Ann VosKamp:

"The greatest fear can be that grace and God will run out and there won't be enough - 
WE won't be enough.
This fear is a fraud.
Let go of the lie."