Murphys Mom

From my Prayer Journal, December 28, 2015, 4:45 am

"Oh Father.....You have chosen to let us climb a mountain the past 24 hours. I have no doubt You have a very good reason for this climb....whether it strengthens our legs....or strengthens others who are watching. I don't know.....but we have just gone through almost 24 hours of solid rain....hard rain...mad rain....EVIL rain. Like the ruler of this earth is furious and shoving this in our face and saying, "See? See?...Where is your God now?"

I wrote this in my prayer journal on this very computer I'm writing to you today in the early morning hours of Monday, December 28, 2015. The four of us (the dog, the cat, Charlie and I) were heaped up on the bed....and it was still raining.....hard.

....But I don't turn my back...I don't take my eyes off You...and I wonder if Peter was scared walking on that water 2000 years ago even though he had his eyes focused on You? I wonder cause I'm so scared right now. It's been one of the longest, most horrific nights of my life....and You and I have talked all night long.....not a wink of sleep as I watched the water pour in every crevice of this beautiful house I am simply a tenant of. This is Your house...not mine. I have heard things banging into the outside of this house.....things falling on the inside of this house as the water....the thick, muddy water, and I'm actually terrified to see what outside looks like when dawn comes.....

Its not been until recently I have been able to read back over what I wrote that night. I knew it would be hard and I knew I haven't been the most stable emotionally lately....mountains of tears that have built up over these past 8 months have been falling as fast and hard as the rains were that night. I think my tear bucket is full and there's been no place for them to go but out my eyes and down my face.....I think they are relief tears.

.....You, the Landlord, have allowed this to happen to a piece of property You own.....and I know....I KNOW...you can turn this tragedy into good. And I'm going to keep my eyes open....wide open....looking and waiting for that miracle. Cause I know when its darkest.....Your Light shines brightest. So as I sit here in the bed....an island really...surrounded by almost a foot of water....with my beloved Charlie....my Molly and Kruger huddled together in this tiny bed....we are together...we are safe...we will be okay. Cause there is a blessing in all of this somewhere.....

YES.....a thousand blessings in this mess. And sharing this with you is one of them. But I won't lie.....it's hard to share this with you cause that means I'm reliving it and reliving it means more tears and more tears means there's an ugly mess going on behind these words.

.....We are surrounded by water on all sides....and I'm surprised we aren't floating away. Be with us as we wait for dawn....for first light to see if our boathouse is still out there.....I could see that the water is up to the top handrail of the ramp out back and that was hours ago.....Be with us, Father....be with us......

I'm watching the sun come up as I share these words with you from our boat dock this morning. The sun is staring me in the face right this second.....and I glance to my left and see the house that has scriptures written all over its hidden studs....thousands of prayers prayed over it and I see the answer to my prayer I prayed that night 8 months ago.....Cause there is a blessing in all of this somewhere.....and the blessing was...YOU. You prayed, you cried, you ached right alongside us this year. Many of you helped us with your hands, with your pocketbooks, with your knowledge, with your faith. And we are beyond grateful. Beyond Grateful.

We aren't finished with this journey just yet.....but close....so close we can see the white space at the end of the last paragraph of this chapter.

And God used YOU to help Keep Our Heads Above Water......You. You were the blessing He had planned all along.