Monday, December 22, 2008

The Dreaded CPA Called....

Well, just as I told you he would, the dreaded CPA called today!  Errrrrrrrrr.....why do I let him intimidate me so much???   No one has this effect on me except Mr. Stein!  Is it because I feel inadequate?  I really don’t think so; I balance the books each month to the penny; I don’t fudge on the numbers; I feel as though I know what I’m doing; except when Mr. Stein calls.  Then I feel like the stupidest person on earth; and I feel like he thinks so too!  

I’m always telling Charlie how Mr. Stein “makes” me feel.  The truth is, he doesn’t “make” me feel any way I don’t allow myself to feel.   I know this is a Liz problem; not a Mr. Stein problem; but how do I resolve it??  The fact that I started feeling “dread”, “heart palpitations”, “nauseous”, and downright depressed  a week before he actually called signals a deeper problem with insecurities in myself.   

I have decided to handle this the only way I know will get results.  Prayer.  Lots and lots of prayer. And then more prayer.  When we worry, when we fret.....when we feel intimidated, God is saying “Shhhhhh, be still and KNOW that I AM GOD.  I read somewhere that one step in breaking intimidation  is to count the cost.  If I allow myself to be intimidated what will I lose? The goal of intimidation is to make us give up our authority, which makes our gifts inoperative. We are then reduced to operating in our own strength and ability and not with the help of God.   So the next time I get a phone call, an email or a letter from Mr. Stein, I plan on stopping what I’m doing......saying a silent prayer for confidence, do a few yoga moves, and then proceed forward with him.  I feel “confident” my days of CPA intimidation are over.  PRAY FOR ME!

“He who would believe in Him would not perish, but have eternal life.”       Lee (on Twitter)

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