Have I mentioned my hubby, Chuck, is hard of hearing?? Well, bless his heart, as if having Multiple Sclerosis isn't enough, he suffers from loss of hearing most likely from the MS. Well, over the last few years, we have had many, many interesting conversations......unfortunately, they usually aren't about the same thing. Here's a typical conversation as we're driving down the road: LIZ: "Did you put the trash out by the road this morning?" CHUCK: "Yes, I'd like to stop at Dairy Queen for some ice cream." Hummmm...as I turn and stare at him with that rolling eye "I'm not believing this" look, he looks back at me and says, "What???".....At first, it was kinda funny, but now; it's just irritating. This happens EVERY SINGLE DAY.
About the time it went from funny to irritating (3 years ago), I forced him to the Audiologist who said he needed hearing aids. DUH! So, we got him the very best hearing aids that didn't take away from his handsome ears. They were state of the art; barely noticeable, matching skin color and very small. We were so excited!! No more weird conversations; no more strange looks at each other!! Knowing my hubby, I thought it best if we take out the replacement insurance "just in case" he lost one....or two. I remember that day well. We were sitting in the audiologists office waiting on her to fit him with his brand spankin' new "very expensive" hearing aids.....Chuck was assuring and promising me he would be careful and not lose the hearing aids and we would be living in a new world from now on! Oh, life is good!!
Fast forward.............1 week. Yep, first hearing aid disappeared. All we knew was he was mowing at the time and had the aid on when he started; didn't have it on when he finished. He mowed an acre of land......under trees and tall shrubs!! I was determined not to use that insurance policy one week after taking it out......so, I literally got on my hands and knees and in straight-line fashion, crawled the entire acre on my knees looking for that hearing aid..... Did I mention it was "small". Never did find the hearing aid or anything that resembled a hearing aid. However, I did find an earring I had lost 2 years prior, a neighbor's key and a couple of snake skins. We replaced the hearing aid and this time attached it to Chuck with a fish line and alligator clip, clipped to the back of his shirt.
Fast forward.........3 years. The hearing aid isn't really working for him anymore (he has Tinnitus....cricket sounds in his ears) and we are back to having strange and bizarre conversations again. He ordered the Lee Majors 6 million dollar man hearing aid via Infomercial which is an over priced, glorified amplifier.....and what a squealer it is!! His neurologist referred us to a UTSW audiologist, which is suppose to be the best of the best, in doctors. I was sooooooo excited! I just knew this was going to fix the irritating, bizarre conversation mode we are currently in. So today we went to see the UTSW Audiologist....Oh Happy Day!! They call us back to do the hearing test and determine, yep, the boys' got a hearing problem. DOUBLE DUH! As we're waiting on the doc to come in and give us the miracle cure; not to be mistaken for "Miracle Ear"; to kill the crickets, I give Chuck the "Be positive; they will find a way to fix this....you're just too negative....you must think positive" speech. I no more get these words out of my mouth, and the doc comes in and tells us there's nothing he can do about the tinnitus and, although hearing aids would help his hearing loss, he will still have those annoying crickets. I don't remember much after that except hearing these words coming out of my mouth, "I'm not leaving this place without a solution! You ARE going to kill these crickets and you ARE going to fix his hearing. We drove 2 hours here and 2 hours back so you could kill the crickets.....now; KILL THE CRICKETS!" As he started slowly backing away from me, he started spitting out solutions that some people had found to help....some "desperate" people had tried this......or that.....he said.
We did finally leave, much to the doctors relief, and discussed our next game plan on the two hour drive home. At one point, I asked Chuck if he thought we needed to pull off the highway to let Murphy pee and he excitedly answered, "Yes, I'd love to stop at Dairy Queen for Ice Cream!!"
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10 comments:
Liz: I feel your pain. Ernie has been hard of hearing for a long time. First he had one aid. That worked for awhile. Then he graduated to 2 very expensive aids. But of course you have to wear them all the time when you are in a vertical position. Which he didn't do. It is so exasperating to hear someone say, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Yesterday we went back to the place where he got his old ones, and they are now not strong enough. So we ordered 2 more new aids. Very expensive. He better wear them. I know it is hard on the person who can't hear, but it is just as hard on the person who deals with them. I think we have more disagreements about that than anything. He says I mumble. Oh well, at least he is still here. At his being 82, I am thankful for that..It won't get any better, so hang in there.
Betty
Love you both. Now, Dick says I’m getting hard of hearing, but when I had my check-up this past week, the hearing test showed I have perfect hearing. He says I mumble, so he can’t hear me----- either. Now, I believe this is God’s plan for patience and tolerance as we slide toward old age. He he I can certainly understand your frustration. When all else fails----stop at Dairy Queen for ice cream. He he
Bonnie
Liz! you are funnier than any comedian we have ever heard!!!!!!! Travis and I are dying laughing! keep it up.
love to both and the crickets.
Jacquetta & Travis
Liz,
I had to laugh all the way through this blog! I come from a family where my dad, all his brothers and sisters, my grand parents on his side, and my sister along with my 22 yoa nephew and 19 yoa neice have this same issue, the hearing issue that is. I cannot tell you how many conversations with my dad or sister, where others are not looking at them to talk, so they can read or attempt to read lips. I myself have wet myself on one occassion, due to a conversation like that with her, ended up laughing so much that she cried, I cried and then I pee pee'd on myself! I think sometimes my mom and brother-in-law talk low or with htier back turned on purpose!!
Jackie
I still say you’re the next Irma Bombeck … started your book yet?????
Ann Holland
Thanks for sharing! It good to know that Annie Lou's hearing is the problem? sorry we did not see youse guys when we were in Texas, maybe next time and Chuck and I can have ice cream!
Don Grimes
You have a gift for making everyday things come to life; I can just picture Chuck and Murphy and you and your friends as you write about what you are doing. You produce a weekly column that is better than many that are published in the magazines and newspapers; maybe you should become a professional and get your traveling expenses paid.
Pat
"I need to come see you and the Chuckster."
Lee
Okay, I just finished reading this to my husband and we are both laughing. You need to write a book Liz. You are so talented and entertaining! Julie
Jackie, I also want to add (I have to since I still am the Official President of the Charles Etheridge Fan Club) that the Ice cream thing probably has as much to do with the fact that he loves to eat as it does with the hearing loss. Had she gotten him the Ice Cream the first time, he might not have had to keep thinking about it and it wouldn't have been an issue on the way back....
Kim
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