Wednesday, December 7, 2011

You Will Be Missed, Cici

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

"Our most difficult task as a friend 
is to offer understanding when we don't understand." 
 ~Robert Brault 

It's taken me all week to start this Blog, and even now I'm not really sure how to begin......

Her name is Cici.  She and I have had many a laugh over the fact we don't really know how we know each other.....we just do.  Over the years, we would run into each other around town, hug and ask how the other was doing....all the while wondering in our heads how we knew each other.  I just figured she was one of those angels God drops into your life because He knew you needed them.

As time went by, our friendship grew.   She introduced me to her Women's Bible Study group and afterwards, we would eagerly grab a bite to eat and catch up on each others life.  Many times, we fought for air-space as we were both talking at the same time, picking the brain of the other.  Although Cici was much more the intellectual than I, she would lower her intellect just for me so we can communicate on the same level.  

The last few years have been difficult ones for Cici.  Although it wasn't always obvious, she was struggling.  A troublesome marriage; problems at relationships that were know; things that most of us deal with at one time or another.....seemed to plague her all at the same time.  And hard as she tried, she couldn't seem to move past them.

And then I received the call this weekend......

Cici had taken her own life.  As she said in a note attached to the poem below that she mailed to me hours before ending her life,  "How blessed I have been to know you, precious friend!  May God forever bless you!!  I am just in too much pain."  Love Cici.  And with that, she included her own obituary.


On crowded strees, in busy mart,
When from our dearest friends we part,
An optimism fills the heart
Than which there is no greater;
There is no tinge of sorrow then - 
We know full well we'll meet again,
It may be soon -- we know not when - 
"Well, so-long -- see you later!"

How casually the words are said!
And still before the day is sped
The one of us may yet be dead,
For Death's a stern Dictator;
But cheerfully we met and part,
On crowded street, in busy mart,
And voice the hope that's in our heart - 
"Well, so-long -- see you later!"

It cannot be that Death's the end,
For somewhere just around the bend
I'll meet with you again, my friend,
And join our kind Creator;
So when my Summons comes some day,
Don't grieve that I am called away,
Just clasp me by the hand and say --
"Well, so-long -- see you later!"

Sleep tight, my dear friend.
I'll see you in the morning.....


Julie said...

I'm so sorry Liz. I know you find yourself saying "if only". But then we come to our senses and realize there is no turning back of time and we have to accept what we can't reconcile in our minds. Tough stuff to deal with.

Hugs, Julie

Israel said...

Hi Liz, I am so sorry about your lost, it sadden me to hear about someone taking his/her life, but we perhaps can't comprehend what is going on in their personal lives to the point they can't cope with various circumstances. I am just a regular Joe, we are all different and behave in all sorts of ways, I've been through circumstances, but then I call on God, and He's always there for me, He has been good to me. Liz, I make it a point to pray every night before I go to bed, and when I get up, not because I have to, but because I am thankful to God, for his goodness, His cares and watching over us every day of our lives, I said before I am just a regular Joe, but I keep in touch with the Lord, I tell Him how much I love Him and I know how much He loves me. Say hi to Chuck for me. The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: He shall preserve thy soul. The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore. Ps.121:7,8


Brenda said...

So sorry for this great loss for you. Know that I care and I have been in a similar situation before. I had a friend that did the same on christmas day three years ago.
Still miss her. She never really understood what she meant to so many people. Somehow even if the person has trouble believing it we need to keep telling them
how special they are. But sometimes because of all the other voices they hear they cannot hear us.
Love you, praying for you,
Thankful for you,

Jackie and Joe said...

Dear Liz,
I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend....I am so sorry....

love to you...Jackie

Liz Hurt said...

Tragic. My heart aches. My throat tightens. I wonder how many I casually walk by feel the same way. Only God knows. I think back to my precious step-sons's suicide, still mystified. Out of the blue. No warning. Tremendous loss. I grieve for Cici. I still grieve for Steve. We love as we go. There is nothing more we can do. You are the ideal example of "love" - always embracing the person, never condemning, always inclusive. You are a blessing in my life - and I can promise you that you were in Cici's.

GG said...

Oh my God. Becky told me you knew her but I did not know you knew her that well. I am here sobbing away. That is the hardest story to read and I know very painful to write. If you need a hug let me know and I will be right over. I always want to be there for you.

love ya

Judy Boyles said...

That is beautifully sad! I am sorry for your loss. She sounds lovely. Will you introduce her to me in heaven?

Judy Boyles

Murphy said...

I know this is hard on you. I have never been in your situation losing a loved one by their own hand, but my heart still goes out to you.
A thought that comes to mind for you to keep in your heart. God loves Cici and even though she took her own live that will not keep her from being with Him, as long as she believed in Jesus as her Savior.
One day you will be with her again.
It doesn’t stop the pain that you won’t see her while you are still here on earth, but it does give you the hope that you will see her again.
As David said to his servants when they couldn’t understand why he got up, ate and cleaned up after his child died (the first one he had with Bathsheba), his words to his servants when asked why are you still not fasting and praying, was “I will go to see him, but he will not come to me again”.
I am sorry for your lose,

Regina said...

Oh Liz, I sit here with tears in my eyes and a catch in my throat. I am so very sorry - for you and for Cici. This must be incredibly heart-wrenching and frustrating. You are a good friend and I can't imagine what a respite you must have been all these years from all the sorrows and troubles in Cici's life - an oasis of peace, love and friendship in her storms. I am hugging and weeping with you my friend. I love you and I miss you.


Sherrie said...

Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is nothing I can think to say, but wow!

Sherrie C. Wilson

Bonnie and Dick said...

Liz----I’m so sad that she felt she had no other way out!!! I’m sad for you, too. I’m glad she had you for a friend which she cherished.
Love you, Bonnie

Gene Mason said...

Liz, beautiful thoughts on your part and what a beautiful thought on your friends part.
She wrote a beautiful poem. So sad.
The pain she talked about, was it physical or mental and how old was she?


Lois said...

Dearest Liz,

I know this is very painful for you. I'm so sorry. Was she a very depressed person, in retrospect do you remember some signs she may have had?

Ant Ellie said...

It must be super hard to do this, all the while knowing that those friends you cherish will be devastated and forever worrying about where they fell short....and be included in the pain you suffer.
We need to think about that in our decision making may relieve our suffering but what about those we leave behind? Those that may have caused the pain probably won't have much regret or pain...
and that is very very sad.

I love you both lots and lots.
ant ellie

Sandee & Larry said...

Dear Liz,

I feel like I know Cici. Feeling your sadness and pain; I’m sending you strength and reminding you that you couldn’t have done anything to prevent her death. I have a very different view of taking one’s life. To me it’s just going home to the father that loves you the most. It’s not a sin, it just is.

Love you,


Jan & Joe said...

Liz, I am so sorry that you have lost your good friend. Jan and Joe

Nancy said...

My heart breaks for you as I read this, Liz. So so sorry to hear about your friend, Cici. How much pain would one have to be in to do that? I really feel for her family and friends...Thanks for sharing the poem...
So sorry, dear Liz.

Carla Melcher said...

Oh goodness, Liz. I am so sorry you lost this friend. So sad.


Denise Kohler said...

Wow ! This is so sad Liz. I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend. I just hate death and the hurt and sadness it brings with it. I hope you'll be ok and will find some kind of peace with your memories of her, I'll keep you in my prayers.
Love ya girl friend,