“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes,
and death shall be no more,
neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore”
A few weeks back, I was talking with a contractor about a simple repair on the house when suddenly, I was blinking back tears. It caught me so off guard; one minute I'm talking about a gutter-guard and the next, fighting off this enormous wave of grief where words couldn't even leave my mouth. I found myself barely able to utter an apology to the poor gutter-guy while excusing myself to grab a tissue.
Such has been my life these past 8 weeks. Grief shows up at the most inopportune time I've discovered.
In these two months since my husband passed away, I have discovered much about Grief....and about myself. I have discovered that the feel of someone's arms wrapped tightly around me is a form of medicine. It has healing powers. No words need to be said...just skin touching skin are the words. It's a balm to my soul.
I have discovered that, although it brings tears (happy tears) and can be emotional, I NEED to hear people talk about Chuck. His name brings joy to me and he need not be the elephant in the room where his name is avoided. I need to know that if you knew him, you remember him. I missed this the most about our Christmas gatherings this year. He went from the "running-over-small-children-and-doorways-with-his-wheelchair" elephant in the room, to the actual "avoid-saying-his name-for-fear-of-tears" elephant in the room. We need to say our loved ones name....we need to remember them....we need to laugh and, yes, cry over our memories of them.
I have discovered that although I miss him more than words, I wouldn't want God to bring him back to this earth, even if He allowed me the choice. I love him far too much for that. This world wasn't ever his home; it was merely a road leading him to Home. He arrived safely and why would I ever want him to leave the comfort of his eternal Home to travel this often difficult road ever again?
What this grieving widow needs you to know is there isn't a second out of each day she doesn't think of her husband...and smile. And she longs to see you smile along with her. Not the pity-look...but the "what-a-crazy-cool-guy-he-was" kind of look. It soothes her soul. And don't let her tears scare you..they are healing tears. With each tear that falls, she is one step closer to repairing her broken heart.
She needs you to know she doesn't grieve her husband...she grieves her loss...and she will be fine with time. Your prayers will see to that...and she is eternally grateful to you that the Throne Room floor of God is covered in prayers with her name on them.
"Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come." Tagore
Posts
">
No comments:
Post a Comment