GROWING SEEDS: "Disappointment"

"The Disappointment that is exhausting and frustrating you? 

It holds the potential for so much good. 

But we'll only see it as good if we trust the heart of the Giver. 

Disappointment can be a gift from God that feels nothing like a gift at all. 

The Giver can seem almost cruel."

Lysa Terkeurst

CRUEL.  That was the exact word I used when speaking to God this time last year as the rains began to fall and the potential to flood was once again upon me. Yes.....I called God cruel...straight to His face.  The calls and texts had started by well-meaning friends.  "How's the water, Liz?  Where is the water level so far, Liz? God's got you in His hand, Liz".  My answer?  Yes...I truly know and believe this.  BUT...knowing this still doesn't stop the anxiety that comes with "What if...".  It's similar to knowing the boat you're on is sinking and you can't do a thing about it.  It's impossible to sit still and whistle with a smile on.  You start to question whether you actually do have the faith needed to endure....and then you remember, "Wait....didn't God tell me I just needed the faith of a mustard seed?"  Then you Google how big is a mustard seed.

The cruel disappointments of this life....we all know a thing or two about them, don't we? 

The friend finding her way through breast cancer or the wife whose husband just keeps repeating a behavior that is ruining their marriage.  Maybe it's the sudden death of a brother, a lost job, an empty bank account, gray hair roots or broken finger nails.  No one is exempt from disappointment. 

God never promised us smooth sailing; but He did promise us a SURE destination....and what God wants for us is not to AVOID the storm, but to ENDURE the storm. 

My unavoidable storm this time last year was necessary.  God knew that.....although I didn't.  And yes, it appeared cruel to this girl whose faith felt smaller than that mustard seed, but her God knew she needed to deal with some issues about storms that were buried so deep in the belly of her sinking ship, that it was necessary to face the dark storm clouds once again. 

Disappointment can be a gift from God that feels nothing like a gift at all. 

And even as I yelled the words, "Cruel and God" in the same sentence, I somehow knew He was gifting me with disappointment.  My mustard-seed faith was big enough to see me through.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,

because you KNOW that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." 

James 1:2