"Invisible Prisons"

LizEtheridge

Quite a number of years ago, I found myself in a place of haunting by an accusation of something I didn't do by someone I cared deeply for. I had no proof of my innocence and it followed me day and night; knowing I was innocent...yet unable to prove it.

At times like this, you actually start turning on yourself. Your mind starts questioning how this could have happened and a corner of your heart starts believing the lie of the accusation, although that same heart knows its not true. I prayed, and cried, most every day over this....the pain was great and I knew I had no way to fix it on my own and make it go away.

I remember standing in my prayer space....the shower....begging God for release from this hurt. And that is when I heard God's words in my heart as clear as I'm hearing the cat meow as I type this to you:

"You MUST forgive your accuser, Liz.

It will require you to pray FOR them....to FORGIVE them...

to THANK ME for them....and to find the GOOD in them.

And then pray for your own heart, Liz, to change."

My response? "But God, I don't want to. They didn't ask for forgiveness. Why can't You just change them?" He quietly reminded me if I ever hoped to be free from this hurt, it wasn't necessarily something I "wanted" to do, but rather something I "must" do. It was required for MY own survival.

I remember telling God I was struggling to even believe the words of forgiveness that were coming from my mouth, but that I would do it anyway. I began listing those things I loved about them...admired about them...reasons they were in my life.

“To Forgive Is To Set A Prisoner Free,

And To Discover That The Prisoner Was You”

As I walked out of the shower that day, I had begun the process of Forgiveness and the weight on my back was a little lighter. With each passing day, I repeated the words "I Forgive You" to the walls of that shower as the peace in my heart grew and I began to live again.

I felt like a prisoner being released from her cell; I was finally breathing the fresh air of freedom.

"If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.

But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." (OUCH)

Matthew 6:14-15