I've Been Crowned Mrs. Eagle Point!!

Friday, August 28, 2009

There she is......Mrs. Eagle Point.......yep, its true!! I would like to thank my family, friends and fans for voting for me. What?? You didn't vote for me?? That's ok. You, just like me, probably didn't know about the contest. I think I was the only contestant. I'm so honored.....I only wish I had dressed a little better for the event......

It all started last weekend when our neighbor, Wanda (remember......my fellow-forkee with the alias name??) was 1st runner up in the Ms. Mt. Vernon Pageant here in large metropolis Mt. Vernon, Texas. She was just beautiful up on the stage and we were so proud of her! Well, I was over at her house the other night ooohing and aaahing over her trophy and I "might" have even been trying on a crown or two that she had won from prior pageants. Before I knew it, flashbulbs were going off and people were asking me to pose over here; then over there; it was fabulous. I felt like a white Oprah Winfrey when she won Miss Fire Prevention in 1971! Eventually, Wanda took her crown back and my reign came to an end..........or so I thought!

The next day, I headed to Dallas for the day. Upon arriving home that evening and coming through the front gate of our neighborhood, I glanced to my left at the bulletin board and imagine my surprise when THERE I WAS......Big As Life.......on the Bulletin Board next to the obituary for Buddy our deceased neighborhood dog! I had been voted Mrs. Eagle Point!!!

I'm so glad the contest didn't require me to do a "talent" or anything.....and I really wish I hadn't been trying on Wanda's brothers' hideous boots at the time of the picture, but hey, who knew I would be crowned Mrs. Eagle Point!??! Who knew there even was a Mrs. Eagle Point Contest??? Obviously, you didn't cause you didn't vote for me. I wonder if I get to eat for free at Dairy Queen now?? WOW!

Well, enough about me........its time for a Murphy update. The poor little guy has been learning so many new tricks lately that he's getting his words confused. If I tell him to "shake", he rolls over. If I tell him to "roll over", he sits down. We have a little more work to do before making another YouTube video for ya.

UPDATE ON JOHN MCCAIN'S LEG: We still have not found the missing John McCain leg yet either. As you may recall, Obama originally confessed to removing the leg due to the cost of repairing it at John McCain's age, and now it appears he didn't act alone. An anonymous new witness came forward this week with a damaging photo that implicated Uno, the dog next door, as an accomplice to the crime. Here's the picture that was sent in by National Pet Inquirer Magazine showing Uno's involvement. He will be apprehended upon arrival in Mt. Vernon this weekend.

How Many Etheridge's Does It Take????

Friday, August 21, 2009

Take what, you ask......??

Last weekend, Chuck's younger brother, Doug, and his family were out to the lake for the weekend. You may recall, the last time we all got together in May, we had "The Flood". This time, the water stayed in the lake and we had a BEAUTIFUL weekend to spend playing in the water, horsing around on the jetski's, driving the Workhorse exploring creepy new paths in the woods and catching up on everyone's life. Super fun time!

But back to my question........How Many Etheridge's Does It Take..........

1) To fit on the tiny, tiny tube? The answer is 1. My nieces Tiffany (28) and Christy (25) both tried to get on the smallest tube EVER made to be pulled around the lake. They found out the hard way this was a bad idea. It was sure funny watching them discover this, though. Kinda reminded me of the time 4 years ago these two took the canoe out and got stuck in a swampy creek in some brush with snakes and water rats.....I won't go into detail, but I will say our neighbors are all still talking about it and its always a source of conversation when we're needing a good laugh.

2) To clean up the doggie diarrhea? Well, usually 1, but since Christy was about to "hurl" trying to clean it up alone (sorry Christy; I just had to mention this...), I'm going to have to say 2.

3) To teach Drivers Ed on the golf cart? This is easy; 1. Our two 2nd-nephews, Brandon (12) and Garrett (8), are both superb drivers! Their parents shouldn't have any problem letting them start driving the family car at 14. I'd let them drive me anywhere........well, almost anywhere........We had a blast exploring and making new paths in the woods on the Workhorse (golf cart). They drove us places that I didn't even know existed......

4) To wave down help when the boat died? Let's see; that would be 5. All five of us.......yep, the boat's battery died on the opposite side of the lake while fishing Sunday morning. We eventually floated over to a stranger's dock where we called for help and lined up, waving frantically. Eventually, help came in the form of Doug and Ray on the jetski with a new battery; that, by the way, didn't work either. Which leads me into my next question...

5) To maneuver the dead boat into the boat slip? 10. It would have been 11, but we couldn't wake Garrett up.

6) To get the splinter out of Garrett's foot from the stranger's dock while waving frantically? 4. Let's see, there was Scott, the surgeon aka his Dad; Liz, the nurse; Stacy, the comforter (also known as Mom) and Brandon, the distractor (the brother)...oh ya, I think Murphy and an Ipod Touch helped a little too!

We've Decided To Sell the RV & Buy a Hearse.......

Friday, August 14. 2009

Well folks, thought I'd update you on several things.

First, I've had many of you want to know the outcome of Senator McCain's missing leg. It wasn't easy finding the culprit, especially when one of the suspects just wanted to talk about "Health Care Reform" and "Change" all the time. But low and behold, I think we've got the right guy. Yes, it's true; Obama is the guilty party. He claimed the reason he did it was because of Senator McCain's age; it was easier and cheaper to just "remove" the leg as opposed to repairing it since he only had a limited amount of years left.

Now that we solved that issue, I've got to tell ya, its been a busy week! First, remember a few months ago when we had the "Hurricane at Lake Cypress Springs" (Check out the YouTube video at "MurphysMom1" for a reminder) and we lost the canvas top to our gazebo on the boat dock? Well, Chuck came up with a brilliant idea on how to replace it. He thought we should replace it with shingles and make a wood roof. Sounded like a good idea to me; until I realized it meant LIZ was going to be the roofer! Yep, thats right. I can now put "Roofer" down on my ever-growing resume. I've got to say; it looks pretty good.........at least until the next hurricane hits.

After roofing the gazebo, I headed into Dallas to spend some time with Mom and Dad as well as get the gray covered up on my head. As I arrived at Mom and Dad's place, I panicked just a bit when I pulled into the driveway and saw a "hearse" parked across the street. Yep, you heard me right; a HEARSE. This hearse had a 7-11 Big Gulp sitting on the dashboard and clothes hanging over the windows. The rear license plate was from Oklahoma and the front license plate was from Texas. Dad said it had pulled up there the day before and he thought they were using it for a motorhome. I don't know whether to say, "Just like an Okie" or "Wouldn't you know they're from Texas". Crazy funny, though.

How many of you have a specific quiet time each day to talk to God? Well, for years, my quiet time, without fail, is in the shower each morning. Its the one time each day that I'm usually not rushed; don't have the phone ringing (however, Chuck does have a bad habit of bringing me the phone while I'm in the shower.......I've never understood that!!???) and I'm alone with just my thoughts and God. Well, during this Wednesday's talk with God, I felt an urgency or need or necessity to pray for "conscience". I pray this for me most every day, but this day, I prayed that He would give our politicians, as well as those who make it a daily part of their life to wrong others, a "conscience"; that they would feel bad or regretful for doing things they know aren't right. I didn't think much else about it, as many times I've had a "feeling" I should pray for something and not really know why.

Well, I had a Frosty appointment a few hours later. You remember Frosty.....she's my hairdresser. When I arrived at Frosty's salon, she wasn't ready for me yet, so I sat out in the hallway playing Crash Bandicoot on my Ipod Touch (great game, by the way!). It's important to note that I had also brought in my Laptop case as it was too hot to leave in the car. After a few minutes, she called me in and started the "getting-rid-of-the-gray" process. After about an hour, something told me to check on my laptop case. I looked down where my purse was and there was no laptop case. After restarting my heart, I realized I must have left it out in the hallway. Oh man, I jumped out of that chair and ran to the hallway and saw two women standing there with one holding my case. After assuring her it was mine, she proceeded to tell me that she was the manager of the large salon of suites that Frosty works at. She said she had seen a gruffy looking man walking around with my case for quite awhile. She thought it was odd as he just kept walking around but didn't appear to have business there, so she kept a close eye on him. At one point, he walked out the front door (with my laptop case) and a little bit later, came back in with it. She quietly followed him and saw him place the laptop case back where he found it and left the building. I had to restart my heart again after hearing that story. She even made the comment, "I guess his conscience wouldn't let him take it." That's when I remembered my prayer that morning. WOW! I have lost count of how many times I've thanked the good Lord since then for nudging me to pray for "conscience" just 3 hours earlier. And who doesn't believe in the Power of Prayer???? WHOA.........

We're gassing up the jetski's and boat; blowing up the tube and getting ready for a wonderful weekend on the lake with Chuck's family. Let's hope the water stays in the lake this time........

Senator McCain Lost A Leg

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

BREAKING NEWS:  Yes, I'm sad to say, its true.....Murphy's Senator McCain doll met with a tragic accident over the weekend which has caused him to be a paraplegic.......all the details are not in yet, but we are closing in on who might be responsible for this horrible injury.  We have attached pictures of the suspects.

My First House Forking....

Sunday, August 2, 2009

This weekend, I forked a house......ok, I know what you're thinking and shame on you!  Get your mind out of the gutter........I "literally" forked a house!

Remember back in the day.....WAAAYYYY back in the day.....when you got your kicks out of toilet papering your best friend (or enemy)'s house on Saturday night??   Unfortunately, I led a very sheltered life (no comment from those who really knew me WAY back then!!) and I made it through my teenage years without ever TPing anyone's house.  I felt I missed a vital part of my childhood; always regretted not doing that.  We were too busy streaking up and down Arapaho Rd in Richardson when I was a teenager (remember that, Jana??) to have the time to toilet paper someone's house.  

Well, we have a teenager living two doors down from us........uhhh huh.......can you see where this is going??  Yep, for those of you who are my age, I need to bring you up to date with Teenagers-2009.  They don't toilet paper their friends (enemies) houses anymore.  At least in East Texas they don't.  They "fork" their friends' houses.  I can't say I really understand it, and I can't say its actually more fun than toilet papering (since I led a sheltered life), but I had a BLAST forking some poor souls house this weekend!  My teenage neighbor (we'll call her Wanda to protect her identity.......there's a lot of Wanda's in East Texas) insisted we needed to fork someone's house.  She had a young friend visiting for the weekend which just made it all the more fun.  Of course, she REALLY had to twist my arm to do this.........

Here's how it went down.  We got 144 plastic forks (we wanted more, but we ran out of money); not spoons...not knives, but forks.  We got a few other things too, but I'm not going to mention what that was......some might find it.....well....sordof.......uhhh.....possibly offensive, so we won't go there.  Anyway, we then proceeded to dress in black, put black camo on our faces; hop in my black car with the illegally tinted black windows and drive over to this "persons" house in the black of night.  "Wanda" thought we ought to do it at midnight, but I reminded her how old I was and that I planned on being in bed asleep at midnight....so we compromised on 10:00 pm.  

As we pull into the neighborhood and "scope" out the house, we work out the plan.  Since this was my " first forking" (quit laughing!!!), I was relying on my two teenage friends to walk me through this process.   We stopped in front of the house....saw a TV on in the front room....lights on in the back of the house.....Wanda tells me to turn the headlights off on the car.  Here's where Snag #1 happened.   They are on "auto" and I've never turned them off before.  They wouldn't go off.  I turned and turned the knob; the windshield wipers came on; then the interior lights came on.......errrrrrr.....the girls are squeeling & I suck at this stuff!!  I just knew my teenage friends wouldn't take me out with them ever again.  Finally got the lights off, pulled forward to the next house and turned the car off.  They reminded me not to slam the car door when I get out......which I successfully handled; when I hear two car doors slam nearby.  I quickly turn around to see Wanda and her friend slammed their doors.....were they just toying with me?????  I don't know. 

Anyway, with fork boxes in hand; other items I'm not mentioning in my pants pocket and shirt, we head to the front yard.  We didn't want to get too close to the house in case they had a motion sensor light, and we started forking the front yard (prong side down) all over the yard.  The unmentionables were hung from the mailbox and trees and lining the driveway.......WAY FUN!!!

Why forks, you ask??  Well, they say its because when the "fork-ee" goes to remove the fork from the yard the next day, it will usually break off and make it difficult to remove from the ground.  Seems a little odd to me, but hey, this is the same chick who chose to streak up and down a major street as a teenager instead of TPing someone's house.  My point being; some things are never to be understood...

As we ran back to the car, giggling the whole way and feeling invincible, we decided we need to get some pictures of our work as we pass by at 50 mph.  Wanda had camera in hand; flash on; car in gear as we drive past the newly forked house.  FLASH, FLASH, FLASH as we sped past..........TOO MUCH FUN!  

I can now mark "forking" a house off my Bucket List...........