Tuesday, November 17, 2009Have I mentioned my hubby, Chuck, is hard of hearing?? Well, bless his heart, as if having Multiple Sclerosis isn't enough, he suffers from loss of hearing most likely from the MS. Well, over the last few years, we have had many, many interesting conversations......unfortunately, they usually aren't about the same thing. Here's a typical conversation as we're driving down the road:
LIZ: "Did you put the trash out by the road this morning?"
CHUCK: "Yes, I'd like to stop at Dairy Queen for some ice cream." Hummmm...as I turn and stare at him with that rolling eye "I'm not believing this" look, he looks back at me and says, "What???".....At first, it was kinda funny, but now; it's just irritating. This happens
EVERY SINGLE DAY.
About the time it went from funny to irritating (3 years ago), I forced him to the Audiologist who said he needed hearing aids.
DUH! So, we got him the very best hearing aids that didn't take away from his handsome ears. They were state of the art; barely noticeable, matching skin color and very small. We were so excited!! No more weird conversations; no more strange looks at each other!! Knowing my hubby, I thought it best if we take out the replacement insurance "just in case" he lost one....or two. I remember that day well. We were sitting in the audiologists office waiting on her to fit him with his brand spankin' new "very expensive" hearing aids.....Chuck was assuring and promising me he would be careful and not lose the hearing aids and we would be living in a new world from now on! Oh, life is good!!
Fast forward.............
1 week. Yep, first hearing aid disappeared. All we knew was he was mowing at the time and had the aid on when he started; didn't have it on when he finished.
He mowed an acre of land......under trees and tall shrubs!! I was determined not to use that insurance policy one week after taking it out......so, I literally got on my hands and knees and in straight-line fashion, crawled the entire acre on my knees looking for that hearing aid..... Did I mention it was "
small". Never did find the hearing aid or anything that resembled a hearing aid. However, I did find an earring I had lost 2 years prior, a neighbor's key and a couple of snake skins. We replaced the hearing aid and this time attached it to Chuck with a fish line and alligator clip, clipped to the back of his shirt.
Fast forward.........3 years. The hearing aid isn't really working for him anymore (he has Tinnitus....cricket sounds in his ears) and we are back to having strange and bizarre conversations again. He ordered the Lee Majors 6 million dollar man hearing aid via Infomercial which is an over priced, glorified amplifier.....and what a squealer it is!! His neurologist referred us to a UTSW audiologist, which is suppose to be the best of the best, in doctors. I was sooooooo excited! I just knew this was going to fix the irritating, bizarre conversation mode we are currently in. So today we went to see the UTSW Audiologist....Oh Happy Day!! They call us back to do the hearing test and determine, yep, the boys' got a hearing problem.
DOUBLE DUH! As we're waiting on the doc to come in and give us the miracle cure; not to be mistaken for "Miracle Ear"; to kill the crickets, I give Chuck the "Be positive; they will find a way to fix this....you're just too negative....you must think positive" speech. I no more get these words out of my mouth, and the doc comes in and tells us there's nothing he can do about the tinnitus and, although hearing aids would help his hearing loss, he will still have those annoying crickets. I don't remember much after that except hearing these words coming out of my mouth, "I'm not leaving this place without a solution! You
ARE going to kill these crickets and you
ARE going to fix his hearing. We drove 2 hours here and 2 hours back so you could kill the crickets.....now;
KILL THE CRICKETS!" As he started slowly backing away from me, he started spitting out solutions that some people had found to help....some "desperate" people had tried this......or that.....he said.
We did finally leave, much to the doctors relief, and discussed our next game plan on the two hour drive home. At one point, I asked Chuck if he thought we needed to pull off the highway to let Murphy pee and he excitedly answered, "Yes, I'd love to stop at Dairy Queen for Ice Cream!!"