Keeping Our Heads Above Water - Chapter 15

January 26, 2016


Someone asked me a few days ago if I was angry at the lake for turning our lives upside down these past four weeks.

I found it such an odd question....of all the places to be angry, the lake is not one of them.  How could you be angry at something that looks like this each morning at sunrise?

It's been a month.  A long month.  Like a 4-year month.

And we most likely have many more 4-year months to go before life becomes normal again.  But like I've said a hundred times, I feel God working GOOD through it all.  I'm dead serious folks.....these are not just words to make me feel better.

Sometimes, I fear I sound like Pollyanna to you....."Life is GOOOOD"...."I NEVER melt down"....."I'm LOVIN' this experience"...when in reality, this experience sucks and is one of the hardest things Chuck and I have had to go through in all the years of our marriage. 

Yes.  Life is HARD.....I DO melt down and I am HOMESICK.  I'd much prefer you see me as Lara Croft....shooting out bad and fear and evil around each corner....reloading....and then having a good cry.  Yep...that's what Lara would do!

But in the middle of ugly.......I see this.....

......the top of a precious baby's head while we sing in church on Sunday....

......my ROCK STAR friend Jewell who has reached the ripe young age of 109 who talked my ear off yesterday about how cool her Uncle Cliff was when she was 8......

......and our new friend Kelly from Majors Medical who drove two hours yesterday to fix Chuck's wheelchair that shorted out from the rising water in our bedroom that Monday 4 long weeks ago.

....and all I can see is BEAUTY in this STORM we are in the eye of.  Beauty everywhere.

I just have to look UP.

Keeping Our Heads Above Water - Chapter 14

 January 21, 2016

Ugly Beautiful.

I heard this phrase from one of my favorite writers, Ann Voskamp, several years ago.  "Ugly Beautiful".  I've never forgotten that. It's all about us not changing WHAT we see....only the WAY we see.

A week ago today, FEMA showed up at whats left of our house.  The Water District manager had given me wonderful news earlier in the week that it looked VERY good that FEMA was going to help everyone on the lake financially with their flood repairs.  He sounded so sure when he stood next to the FEMA dude and said it once again in my kitchen this day last week.  The help would have covered almost 1/2 of our out-of-pocket repair costs.

I tried not to get my hopes up......I know how these things can go.

And in a crowded Water District Meeting room on Tuesday night, this same man said, "Sorry, no FEMA help is coming." I felt immediately ill as I sat in this filled-to-capacity room of upset homeowners.  Had I been able to weave through the standing room only people, I would have gone outside and thrown up.  It was like reliving the flood all over again.  Every nerve-ending in my body was standing up electrocuting my insides.

I had gotten my hopes up.

Life Goes On.......Ugly Beautiful.

And so for today, I CHOOSE to focus on the beautiful.  The beautiful friends who dressed up in crazy PJ Onesies and pigtails and wigs and Mardi Gras beads for an elegant candlelight dinner they had prepared for us cause they knew we needed beautiful among our ugly right now.

And the Beautiful they showered on us...

And the Beautiful man God entrusted in my care as he struggles with infection, weakness and weight- loss smack in the middle of all the ugly.

 And dumpster man named Raymond who let me run the dumpster controls on his truck just to add a little "beauty" into my life.....

 And the Beauty I see here, at the Dump, cause the ugly part of our house is now HERE and not THERE and someday will be beautiful once again....

The beauty of the Wonder Woman bracelet my friend "loaned" me for such a time as this.....cause it helps to repel the ugly of this chapter in our lives.....

And the Beauty of our church......which is more than a building....it is a place where Ugly isn't allowed....a "safe" place of peace to come and be thankful...grateful.....and filled full.

 Ugly Beautiful.  It's all about us not changing WHAT we see....only the WAY we see.

Keeping Our Heads Above Water - Chapter 13

January 16, 2016

When I was growing up, I remember Mom telling me that there was no pain like childbirth.  That the pain is SO intense that most women will never feel any pain that remotely compares to it.  But the interesting thing about childbirth, she would say, is that a couple hours after giving birth and you are holding that beautiful little bundle in your arms, you will forget how bad the pain actually was.

I've never experienced childbirth.....but I'm guessing I'm at 8 cm and crowning right now.

Flood Waters at Our Door

This week has been the most difficult so far.  Hard to believe after having lived through the first two weeks, but Week 3 is finding me wanting to crawl in a hole and stay for awhile.  I am anxious to get to that place where I have moved past the pain and can look back on this time and forget how painful this all is.

Our Master Bedroom

The other day, I wrote chapter 12 of this journey.  I wrote it, saved it on Blogger and never sent it to you.  I felt it was too negative....and that you would see the hairline cracks in me. 

See, I'm struggling this week with emotions towards people who could have prevented this 8 cm pain I'm feeling.  The builder of our beautiful home whose initials are CC and who I would like to punch in the face.....the realtor for assuring us we would NEVER flood when we purchased the house cause we live on a "constant level lake", of which we don't....the water district for never flood mapping our area to allow us to purchase flood insurance....the list goes on and on.

I'm human.  I'm emotional. 

But sometimes, I'm realizing, the 8 cm pain is necessary.  Necessary to bring me closer and more RELIANT on God.  Cause I personally believe God DOES allow us to go through more than we can handle.....on our own.  If we were never allowed more than we could handle, we would have no need for Him.

And this is one chick who needs Him every second of every hour of every single day right now.

Keeping Our Heads Above Water - Chapter 12

January 14, 2016

This past Monday as I walked into 89 Eagle Cove.....we now refer to it as 89 Eagle Cove cause it doesn't even remotely resemble our once peaceful "home".....I was met with grim contractor faces staring back at me.  

There was that 3-second moment when I simply wanted to turn around, get back in the Jeep, drive to the nearest dentist and have every tooth in my head pulled.  Cause I'd rather do that than hear the news that was written all over their faces.

I was escorted into the master bathroom where I saw the bathroom sub-floor had been pulled up to show non-pressure-treated floor joists and beams that had rotted.  The builder who originally built our house (whose initials are CC and fortunately hit the road to Kerrville years before I could give him a good swift kick in the you-know-what) had used inferior wood to build the foundation of our house, we discovered.  The foundation.  The most important part of a house.

We aren't the first owners of 89 Eagle Cove.  We are the second.  We purchased it 14 years ago from a nice couple who had hired CC to build their dream house on the lake.  Fortunately for them, they sold it to us before any of CC's shoddy foundation work started rearing its ugly head.

So......as I stood in the doorway of our once beautiful master bathroom, I heard myself asking out loud, "What are we going to do?" as I wiped the tears spilling out the corners of my eyes.  Kevin, the contractor, who was standing in the pits of hell otherwise known as "the underside of our house", pulled himself up into the house and said, "We're going to PRAY about this is what we're going to do!!"  (What contractor does that??) He grabbed his two co-workers, my friend Terri and myself and huddled up and prayed his heart out over 89 Eagle Cove.....over Chuck and I....he prayed PEACE and strength into us in the difficult and expensive weeks and months we have ahead of us.

Contractors Kevin, Laurie and friend, Liz Hurt

And strength came.  It came in the form of a woman named Liz Hurt......noooo....not Murphy's Mom "Liz" who is "hurt" right now by Realtors who lie and builders who couldn't tie their shoe much less build a house......but by my dear friend, Liz Hurt.  I looked up and there she was...almost out of nowhere...standing in what's left of my kitchen pouring PEACE, comfort and strength straight into my aching soul.

My Face is shining upon you, Liz, beaming out PEACE that transcends your understanding. 

You are surrounded by a sea of problems, but you are face to Face with Me, your PEACE.

The closer you live to Me, the safer you are.  

Circumstances around you are undulating, 

and there are treacherous-looking waves in the distance.  

Fix your eyes on Me, Liz, the One who never changes.

I am always beside you, helping you face today's waves.

"Jesus Calling, January 15"

Keeping Our Heads Above Water - Chapter 11

January 12, 2016

Don't think for a second that the irony of finding this in a puddle of lake water in our media cabinet was missed by me....

And for some reason,  I keep posing people in front of the dumpster lately.   

We are now headed into Week 3 of "The Flood".  Some days, it's been baby steps forward, only to stumble backwards again.  Some days I'm fine.....some days all I want to do is lay down and cry.

We moved every stitch of furniture out of the house this past Sunday with the help of our son, Troy, his two neighbors, Ralph and Shelby who all drove two hours from Allen to help us, and my neighbor girlfriend Amy.  Our other neighbor Sue was gracious enough to loan us a portion of her garage to store all these "things" of ours in.  We are over the moon grateful for each of these friends.

And speaking of "things", we have way too much of them.  Just ask Troy, Ralph, Shelby and Amy.  They'll tell ya...."Yes, Liz and Chuck have WAY too much crap."  I came down the hall the other day carrying a box of "things" out to the garage when I saw this saying I had painted on the wall years ago.  "The Best Things In Life Aren't Things."  I dropped the box and stared at that wall for a good while.

During this roller coaster ride we have been on for three weeks now, I've worried about our "things" getting wet.....getting ruined....getting damaged.  But what about that saying I wrote on the wall?  Did I believe it or was it just a cute little saying everyone always says to convince others, and themselves, that they aren't married to their "things"?  Hummmm.......

Here's what I've discovered from this experience.  What truly matters isn't my favorite chair or my big screen TV or a cute guest bedroom.....but rather people:  people like a contractor who brings peace when I see him drive into the driveway....a crew of three (yes...one is a GIRL!!) that when giving me very bad news yesterday that is going to hit our pocket book hard, opted to huddle up and pray over us in the middle of the room knowing full well that God already has this resolved for us but needed to remind ME of this.....for friends who would put their dungiest jeans on and play in the sheetrock dust with me as we moved those unimportant "things" out of the house.  And family and friends who may not be able to be here to help, but their words of comfort to us I carry in my heart all day long.  It's PEOPLE...not things.....that truly matter when the sheetrock hits the floor.  I could live without all this "stuff", but I can't live without these people.  Nope....can't do it.

And as we continue the up's and down's of this roller coaster ride we've been handed a ticket on, I choose to cling to Deuteronomy 31:8:

"Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you.  

He will be with you; He will neither fail you nor abandon you."  

Awwwww......there's that peace I was looking for!

Keeping Our Heads Above Water - Chapter 10

January 9, 2016

I've been waking up early most every day this week.....very early.

2:00 am......4:00 am....4:30 am......thoughts swirling like a massive blizzard through my mind....

"What if's...." invading my every thought.  "What if..." it floods again?  "What if....it takes longer to repair the house than we have a place to live?"  "What if...." "What if...." "What if....".

I hate the darkest part of night.....

 My prayer this morning was longer than normal: 

"Father, thank You for meeting me here this very early....dark outside...dark inside...rainy morning.  It's just Kruger the 1-claw cat and I awake right now....and the darkness is trying to invade my armor yet again.  It's in the dark...the night...that the enemy attacks me the hardest.  It's the time when he penetrates my thoughts and my sleep, and worry starts creeping in slowly like the flood waters under the doors, the walls, the floor.....my eyes."

I'm a recovering habitual worrier.  I've been a worrier for as long as I can remember.....finding everything and nothing to worry about.  But over the past 5-7 years, worry has taken a back seat to peace.  People who knew me well before....they say they see the change.

So I feel as though I'm relapsing when I feel the pressure of worry invading my thoughts once again.  And when I'm standing in the middle of the Barbie aisle at Walmart and can't stop crying for no good reason, I know my armor has been compromised.

The strongest woman I know painted this Christmas tree this year at a painting party.  She hated it....I loved it....so as she went to throw it out, I grabbed it and lugged it home and placed it next to the Christmas tree during the holidays.  It was untouched in the flood.  She has battled the storm of cancer for longer than I've known her.....over and over and over again.  And yet, I never see her without a smile......a peace covers her like a warm blanket in winter.  It's my prayer to have this strength and courage in the dead of night.....


And this Christmas tree painting.....well, it's a constant reminder to not get so caught up with my earthly home that I lose sight of my actual home waiting for me in heaven.

Keeping Our Heads Above Water - Chapter 9

January 7, 2015

We've learned through this experience the importance to laugh often in the face of tragedy.  Laughter keeps us sane....in an insane situation. 

A few days ago as we were tagging what was salvagable and what wasn't, we noticed the garage refrigerator we have had for over 20 years wasn't working.  After all, it had been in 2 feet of water for quite awhile.  All the food in the freezer was thawed and desperately needing to be thrown out, which just about killed Chuck as he watched his beloved Schwann's prepared foods get tossed in the trash.

Ummmm.....turns out.......we had unplugged the garage fridge before the storm and forgot to plug it back in.  It's actually working just fine.  Empty now.....but working!

I was the only one laughing about that......

And then there was the evening when Jennifer (daughter-in-law), Bella and Brie (granddaughters) and I used the propane heater in the living room we were using to dry out the floors, as a campfire to roast marshmellows.  Yes...the marshmellows had a slight wonky taste to them, but they sure were good after a long day of moving furniture.

 And just the other day, my friends Phyllis and John Gandy gave me the gift of an afternoon away from sheet rock dust and bare floors and walls by taking me up in their plane to "get away" from earth for awhile.  We flew to the heavens and watched as earth went on without us.  It was a much needed mini-vacation away from reality for simply too short a time......

 And friends, here's the reality of our lives right now.......I took this video the morning after we evacuated from the house.  I am beyond grateful to our neighbors Becky Arterbury and Larry Adams for helping us in our time of need.  There are no words......

 Click on Video Above

Keeping Our Heads Above Water - Chapter 8

January 5, 2016

This is Raymond, the dumpster guy.

When he first brought the dumpster out a week ago, he dropped it in our driveway...got out of his truck...looked at the disaster called the Etheridge House....took off his hat....and I swear I saw tears forming in his eyes.   He grabbed me, hugged me and whispered in my ear, "I am SO sorry."

I've never met this man before.

Yesterday, Item #58 on my list of things to do included calling Raymond to come empty the dumpster.  It was completely full of sheet rock, water-logged furniture and junk. 

Our neighbors on either side of us whose garages also flooded, had come down over the weekend and cut their sheet rock to allow their walls to dry out and breathe and we were all using Raymond's dumpster to hold it all.

For some reason, I thought we had one FREE dump with the monthly use of this dumpster.....I'm pretty sure I got that idea from my husband who told me that to soften the financial blow to my brain.  So I was shocked when Raymond said it costs $350 every time he brings a new dumpster out.  I paused....and prayed.  And as I started to negotiate with him, he said, "It's been taken care of, Liz.  You don't owe for this dump."  He went on to say, "Your neighbor Pat Sayers called me this morning and paid for it.  You don't owe anything."  I could barely tell Raymond "Goodbye" cause I was crying...again.  I was so overwhelmed and grateful by the generosity of my neighbor, who used a fraction of this dumpster for her garage sheet rock, that I just could do nothing but give thanks.

And friends, there have been many Pat Sayers' this past week in our lives.....doing random acts of kindness for us.  A dumpster charge may not sound like much to you, but its EVERYTHING to me.

And I will continue counting my blessings....just as I have every day.....for people whose lives have intersected with ours for such a time as this......like Becky, Mary Lee, Kathy and Phyllis who rolled up their sleeves yesterday and tackled a nasty garage in the cold on January 4 because they love.  They love BIG.