GROWING SEEDS: "Life Is Lived Forwards, But Understood Backwards"

Have you ever felt completely and totally alone? You could be standing in a roomful of people, yet you didn't exist....no one saw you...you felt invisible. This was a description of me in the 6th grade. I was awkward, shy and felt the sting of being an outsider.

And I couldn't see past 6th grade.

I've found in the many years since 6th grade that it's not until we've traveled down the road a bit and stood on that tall mountain we just painfully climbed, that we can look back over the valley and appreciate the reason for the rugged terrain we just walked. These roller coaster, yellow-brick-road life experiences we survive are all part of God's plan.

"In those days you were living apart from Christ.

You were EXCLUDED from citizenship.....

you lived in this world without God and without hope.

But God, Himself has brought PEACE to us."

Ephesians 2:12-14

He saw our loneliness...our exclusion...our need for a Savior...and what did He do? He adopted us as His own. He rescued us from 6th grade. He stared into your lonely eyes and said, "You are now part of my family, sweet child of Mine. You no longer are alone."

I look back on that horrible year....and I recall the emptiness, the rejection I felt. Little did I know that a year later, having survived the rough terrain of 6th grade, I would accept Jesus as my Father, be baptized in front of those who ridiculed me, and have a part of God gently placed inside me. He placed His Holy Spirit as a permanent stamp of ownership, a promise really, into my soul that day a year after 6th grade.

I was rescued.....and handed the adoption gift of Peace.

So friend, whenever you feel unloved, unimportant, or unnoticed, remember to whom you belong to. And remember that life is lived forwards, but understood backwards.

(Original Post from July 2018)

GROWING SEEDS: "Nudges and Whispers"

It's not lost on me that at the very moment you are reading these words, I will be placing my earthly belongings into a moving truck and leaving this place I've grown to love so much. Mt. Vernon, Texas. And here's the clincher: I don't know why I’m moving away.....but I know it’s right.

There have been so many times in my life when I felt that “nudging” to do something I knew wasn’t from me. There was the time I felt the constant “nudging” to cancel the Dallas Morning News...to turn the TV off and replace that time chatting with God instead. It wasn’t what I wanted to do, but He pursued me till I said, “uncle”. The time I felt the strong nudge to turn around and pick up that homeless man walking on the side of the road. I argued with God all the way back to him. I grudgingly picked him up only to have him ask if he could have all the money in my cupholder. I said, “Sure”....forgetting my diamond wedding ring was also in that cupholder. It was hours before I remembered the ring....and after running to the Jeep to check, saw he had taken everything....except the ring.

I could give you a page full of “nudges and whispers”....and me arguing and complaining with God all the way.

But I’ve learned through each of these whispers in my ear by God, that He knew things I didn’t. He saw that by me spending time each morning getting to know Him instead of reading the paper or watching Good Morning America, it would change my life forever. He knew that the homeless man would leave my forgotten wedding ring...as he almost certainly must have picked it up out of my cupholder and put it back....a clever reminder to me that it was indeed Him that whispered in my ear that morning. Can you see Him smiling? I sure can.

And this move from a place I love so....Mt. Vernon....and the people that have embraced me...loved me....supported me....thrown me life preservers when I was drowning....well, it’s ripping this girls’ heart out of her chest to leave. But I know this decision is God’s choice for me....because it’s certainly not what I would have chosen.

But I trust His plan more than I trust my plan. And it's necessary I live out the life He’s chosen for me and discover the nuggets of gold in doing so. I may be moving away, but I'm leaving my heart right here.

"FAITH is to BELIEVE what we cannot see,

and the REWARD of this FAITH is to SEE what we believe."

Augustine

GROWING SEEDS: "Our Upside Down World"

I don't know about you, but a simple 15 minutes of news these days gives me anxiety....I feel that "dread", "fear" and "worry" creeping into my mind. The world has turned upside down seemingly overnight....."Bad" is now called "Good".....the "Enemy" is now called the "Hero"....and as Christians, we are feeling a bit out-numbered, right?

But we're not out-numbered.

A quick look at one of my absolute favorite stories in the Old Testament; the story of Elisha, reminds us we have more warriors on our side than the Enemy has on his. Check it out:

"When the servant of Elisha, a man of God, got up and went out early the next morning,

an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city.

“Oh no! What shall we do?” the servant asked Elisha."

Sound familiar? This is where we're currently at in our country's war. Feeling the fear of "What do we do?". How in the world are we going to win this war when the enemy of Hate, Sin, Anger, Violence, Racism (both black and white, FYI), appears to be growing by the second.

“Don’t be afraid,” Elisha answered.

“Those who are with us are MORE than those who are with them.”

Awww...there it is. Just as God promised Elisha and his servant that His Army was far stronger, far larger, far greater....than the one fighting against them, God tells you and I the same thing, friends.

"And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.”

Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes,

and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha."

Can you imagine??? You step outside your front door with your morning coffee in hand, when you see an army of thousands coming to destroy you. Suddenly, you see a second army massively outnumbering your Enemy, but these have stronger fighting tools; chariots of fire, bigger swords and.......God. I think I actually see God's mischievous smile a bit as He opens the eyes of Elisha's servant. Just five seconds earlier, he choked on his coffee as he saw this angry mob headed his way. Now he saw Rescue.

"As the enemy came down toward him, Elisha prayed to the Lord,

“Strike this army with blindness.”

So he struck them with blindness, as Elisha had asked.

2 Kings 6:15-20 (NIV)

Friends, we are living in that same war right now in our country. But we have nothing to fear, just like Elisha told his servant. We are in God's army...not the Enemy's.

So, don't let Fear attach itself to you...it's a strategic weapon of the Enemy. We will NOT be defeated because our eyes have been opened, and the Enemy's have been closed, to see how this story ends.

GROWING SEEDS: “I AM The Good Shepherd"

"I AM Your Good Shepherd....I AM Food For Your Soul"                                               

When I was a small child, I would find myself on my Dad's lap with my head on his chest halfway through the church sermon, as he stroked my hair and placed my hand in his suit blazer so I could feel his heart beating.  The steady beat of his heart in my hand always lulled me to sleep....EVERY time.  I was safe....I was loved....by my Dad.

I had forgotten about those times so many years ago until I read the book, "Abba's Child" by Brennan Manning a few years ago.  I was touched to tears by what I felt was Brennan's pleading for me to understand how much my Good Shepherd loves me.....how much He longs for me to place my head on His chest and feel His heart beating.  To feel safe....to feel loved....by my Abba.  My God.

Do you realize that many of the little "lambs" here in Mt. Vernon who will be anxiously waiting at their doors these next few weeks as we deliver Lunches of Love to them, have never experienced that feeling of being safe and feeling loved that we take for granted?  Many, at no fault of their own, live in a home where their Good Shepherd is never mentioned, where food is scarce and the word "safe" isn't a feeling they know anything about.

It's our responsibility, folks, to place that child's hand on the heart of their Savior....to gently teach them to rest their head on His chest so they can feel the steady heartbeat and know they are safe, loved and fed.....both physically and spiritually....by their Father.  Their God.

And in the words of Brennan Manning, "Perhaps when the final curtain falls, you will have told the story to only one person.  God promises that one cup of living water drawn from the Fountain and passed on to another will not go unrewarded."

And in the words of Jesus, 

"What I want is MERCY, not SACRIFICE." (Matthew 9:13)