I Will Be With You

I ran across an old journal entry this morning from six years ago; sometime in the middle of 2016.  A particularly difficult year.  No.  That's a lie.

THE most difficult year of our lives..  

There were many things that made that year what is was.  Started with a flood that forced us to flee our home...insurance for everything but flood which caused us to find ourselves in debt after working years to be debt free....a raging infection in my husband's foot that forced us to sit in a doctors office every week for most of the year and ended with a diagnosis of cancer and surgery.

And during it all, there was the feeling of being inches away from falling off a cliff of despair with nothing to hang onto.....except the invisible hand of God.

In that year of despair, I found myself face to face with Grief.  Depression.  Abandonment.  I wanted to run...run far away from it all.  I wanted it more than anything. But there was something within me that wouldn't allow it.  

And so I journaled...I blogged...and I prayed.  I took the words from within myself and released them to parchment,  computer screens and God's ears.  

 Here was my journal entry.....

“Father, I’m spent.  I feel sometimes like Chuck and I are standing on the edge of a cliff and each saying to the other, “You go first; you jump first.”

Yesterday we spent the last dollar of the $90,000 flood loan on the house and we're no where near finished.  I must admit, Father, I’m ready for this chapter to end.  I’m spent.  I’m exhausted. I’m hot.  I’m tired.  And yet, I know this journey is necessary...and far from over.  

It’s almost like a type of baptism, isn’t it Father?  Everything in our lives changed because of “the water”.  The going down into the water and the coming back out different.  A baptism of ourselves.  Trusting You to change us through it all and placing our worries and fears in Your hands.  Letting You carry them for us.  And even when we "chose" to carry them ourselves instead of handing them to You, You stayed right us.....You never left us. 

I read something yesterday that said, “God has prayed for you, Liz, that your own faith may not fail - and even when you do fail....that your faith will grow stronger than your failure.”  These were words Jesus said to Peter.....but they apply to me as well.  That God....yes, GOD Himself...is praying for ME.  “You will fail, Liz, but I have prayed for you.....that your failure would not destroy your faith...but would DEEPEN it.  I have prayed for you, Liz, that the very thing that was intended to kill you, will make the faith already planted in the deepest soil of you, even stronger.”

I Will Be With You......Always.

When You Least Expect It....Magical Things Happen

 

 

Yesterday, we met up with our awesome friend, Art, for dinner in downtown Ft. Worth at one of his favorite restaurants to celebrate an early birthday meal for him together. 

 

As we were “toasting” and “visiting”, we found ourselves chatting about the church we all attend, Fielder Church in Arlington. They had recently started a Wednesday night prayer gathering each week and since we now live in Allen, Wayne and I hadn’t yet been able to attend. As Art started sharing about it, our waitress quickly came up to our table and said, “Are you guys talking about Jesus? I LOVE Jesus!”.

She was amazing! Her boldness....the twinkle in her eyes....the love that radiated out of her....was nothing short of magical! We all felt it....and we felt we had just been handed a chunk of gold.

 

She then asked, “Can I pray with you guys?”. We were like “ABSOLUTELY!!”. She set her tray down on the next table and sat down next to Art, grabbed his hand and prayed. She prayed blessings over each of us....she thanked God for the blessing of this new friendship....and she thanked God for rescuing her when she had been lost in this crazy world we all live in.

And as my husband put it, "Was our waitress sent to bring Light to Art on the eve of Joyce’s (his late wife) birthday and by bringing a HUGE piece of lemon cake? Was the Light “literally” shining so bright on us at dinner that we had to move our seats?"  Yes.

Webster's definition: "Angels…a spiritual being serving God especially as a messenger. 2 : a person who is very good, kind, or beautiful."

 

A nugget of gold she was.....and it reminded me of a scripture that my Mama Doris told me earlier this week: 

 

 “I could have no greater JOY than to hear that My children are following the truth.” 3 John 1:4

 

 

God's Breath On Her Face.....

 

My Heart SOARS when I see this picture.....

 

Bella. 

 

I ran across this picture from my granddaughter's Instagram page today. Sweet Bella riding in her sister’s convertible as the sun sets with a content smile on her beautiful face....hair pulled up in a pony....overall shorts and tank top on....and feeling God's breath on her face. It’s the picture of a girl with God's DNA pouring out of her......Why does this make her Lele cry crocodile tears?? #Lelesgirls

When God Places You Right Where You Belong

 

When I arrived in my U-Haul late that Sunday night almost two years ago in the middle of the pandemic to our sweet little Cambridge neighborhood in Allen I had fallen in love with almost 10 years earlier, Michael L. Piles was the first neighbor I met that night while walking his two black labs. 

 

He immediately invited me to stop by and meet his beautiful wife Chantal and sit for visit and glass of wine as soon as I got settled in. We became fast friends soon after and they have truly been the most amazing neighbors to this Widow #13 (nickname Widow #1 gave me shortly after I moved in).

 

What a TREAT for Wayne and I to share a dinner with them tonight in downtown McKinney! Thanks Mike and Chantal for your acceptance, your hospitality to this Widow #13 (can't say that anymore!!) and for always meeting me in the street for a smile and hug.