It's still raining outside.....the leaves on
the trees are blowing at a steady pace and the chimes outside are
ringing strong. The weatherman says rain the whole day long.....its
Mothers Day.....and the heaven's are crying.
How appropriate for THIS
year......
My sweet friend lost her ability to bear a child this Mothers Day
weekend.....the irony in that hasn't moved past me. I'm sure it hasn't
on her either.
I remember Mothers Day growing up in church. I remember the women
who were mothers were given corsages as they walked into church and they
always asked all the mothers to stand. I thought this was a noble
thing....never gave much thought to those still sitting....until I was
old enough to stand but couldn't.
Since finding out I would never be one of those who could stand, I
have screamed a number of times at God, using just one 3-letter
word....."WHY"??
I heard silence.
And I'm sure my sweet friend has, and will, as well in the next few days...months...years ahead.
But what I've discovered.....having been able to walk this journey a
ways....stop...and look back....is I truly believe God was doing me a
favor. He had my back. There are a few of us women in this world that
He places His hand gently on and says,
"I have something far greater for
You than a child".....and we scratch our heads....shed a few
tears....scream a few "WHY's" and He patiently says
"Just wait....you'll
understand one day."
Now don't get me wrong.....I don't believe for a second that God was
responsible for me not having children. It was always His plan for us
to multiply and to be blessed with children. I believe SIN was
responsible for me not having children....but I believe God saw a fix...a better
plan....for me than having children. He saw a better plan for my sweet friends Becky, and Cathy, and Georgia,
and Sandee, and Kathy, and Jackie, and Ann, and the many many many other
friends that never felt what it feels like to hold a tiny bundle of
their own DNA in their arms and hear its first words say "Mom".
He saw an opportunity to turn bad into good and, as Romans 8:28 says,
"And we KNOW that God CAUSES everything to work together for the GOOD
to those who love God." Did you get that?
God....Causes....Everything....To....Work....Together....For....The....BEST.
I can't see past today.....past this very second I'm living right
now...but I know God does...and I know God loves me....and I know God is
good for His word....and I know He has something much greater than a
child in store for me.
This excites me.
And I love clinging to this promise.....I love knowing that the
disappointment of not feeling a tiny little hand in mine that I helped
create.....the heartbreak of knowing I will never witness a high school
graduation of a child of my own.....the loss of never seeing a child of
mine walk down the aisle and start a life of their own.....the empty
arms of never holding my grandchild I helped make.....I love knowing
that God has something even GREATER than all of this for me.
And after saying all of this, I read the words of Jesus speaking
directly to me today, as He does most every day, through my Jesus Calling for
May 10:
"Do not resist or run, Liz, from the difficulties in your life.
These problems are not random mistakes; they are hand-tailored BLESSINGS
designed for YOUR BENEFIT and GROWTH. Embrace all the circumstances
that I ALLOW in your life,
Liz...Becky...Cathy....Sandee....Georgia....Kathy...Jackie....and all
the other non-Mom's....trusting Me to bring GOOD OUT OF THEM. "
And as I help honor those women today who were given the blessing of having
children of their own, I....and all the other non-Moms who were touched
by God for a greater purpose.... am safe and secure in the fact that God
has a plan for us. He has a mighty plan for our lives that we couldn't
accomplish had we had children.
So, wipe those tears away and ENJOY THIS DAY......Enjoy knowing that He loved you enough to give you something even better....
He gifted you with GRACE.