GROWING SEEDS: JOURNEY OF GRIEF

 

"The journey of grief has mile markers. 
The first mile marker is:
 Believe - It - Really - Happened." 

My friend, Mike Tucker, wrote those words above.  Mike knows a thing or two about Grief.  He is smack-dab in the middle of his Grief as the days tick by.......bringing him closer and closer to the first anniversary of his deeply loved wife's death.  You never saw Mike when you didn't see Gayle.....you never saw Gayle when she wasn't talking about Mike.  She was given a little less than a month from the time the cancer was revealed to the day he stood at her grave saying goodbye.  That one-year deadline is quickly approaching.

Gayle's death broke Mike in a million pieces that day. 

And as I've watched this man grieve over the course of this past year through the words of his journal......felt the moisture of his tears as they fell on words he bravely wrote on his journey to healing....I've discovered that Grief is as necessary in this life as Happiness.  Reread that, friends.  Whether this grief that breaks our hearts wide open comes from the death of a loved one, or maybe we find ourselves broken from the sheer brokenness of this evil world we live in.......It - Is - Necessary.....for a time. 

The woman at the well the day Jesus showed up in Samaria....she knew about Grief.....and she knew the pain of Brokenness.   Married multiple times, living with a man not her husband, the women in town gossiping behind her back.....the constant wondering, "Why can't I find the right person to share my life with".  It was in her brokenness that she met Jesus. 

But here's the deal:  God LOVES the broken.  Christ CAME for the broken.  It's the broken and breathless who long for the Spirit to blow life across their wounded hearts.

“In Gethsemane, the holiest of all petitioners prayed three times that a certain cup might pass from Him.
It did not.”
― C.S. Lewis

GROWING SEEDS: The Hands and Feet.....OF THE CHURCH

 

The Hands and Feet......OF THE CHURCH
Part 2

A few weeks ago, I wrote in this white space on the back of the bulletin about a retired couple who had come through The Flood of two Christmas' ago.  You may recall, my friend Cheryl and I had met them at the local laundromat while they washed the lake out of every item of clothing they owned and LIFE felt as though it had slapped them in the face and left them, ALONE in the mud.  They were living without an oven or dishwasher; had no carpet on their stairs and the one thing that brought them joy and communication....their computer....had been destroyed.

Because this community we live in know the meaning of being "the hands and feet of Christ", they now have carpet on their stairs that, just two weeks ago, was simple rough plywood thanks to a couple who sit in the same pews of this church as you. 

Today, they will once again listen to classical music through the new computer, fully loaded with their favorite composers....that once brought them so much JOY and REST before it drowned in the flood waters of Lake Cypress Springs, thanks to someone quietly sitting across the aisle from you who knows the importance of JOY and REST in a mud-filled world. 

And today......today they are fixing breakfast in their brand new oven instead of the crockpot sitting on their yellow laminate countertop that they have prepared every meal for the past 16 months in......and are washing those breakfast dishes in their brand new dishwasher, because there is a company in our town who cares.....who gives a flip.....because they know the importance of giving back the blessings they themselves have received.

These are the QUIET hands and feet of Christ from members of this church and community.....who met this couple in the mud.  Met them right where they were....and discipled them by loving them....throwing them a lifeline.....and giving them HOPE.  Who practiced what Jesus had TOLD.....not asked.....us ALL to do in John 15:12:

"This is My commandment; that you love one another as I have loved you."
John 15:12

GROWING SEEDS: Brokeness & Backpacks

 

I once had a dear friend who always sat on the front row, right-side-aisle most every Sunday at our church.  She always sat alone and, its pure speculation on my part, but I think she sat on that front row to avoid the distractions that come from sitting anywhere else (plus, it put her close to the side door where she could make a quick exit when church was over). 

It's been a few years now since Di Ann gave me this cross made out of rusty metal.....old nails really.....that has hung on the side of my hutch in the dining room.  The day she handed it to me, she was smiling big.  She was so proud to give it to me....thought I needed it.....and rushed it over to my house, complete with pretty paper in a bag and ribbon surrounding it.  We had just finished a home study on Eucharisteo.....the act of giving Thanks.....thanks for everything.....even the massively broken things in our lives.....and Di Ann had a lot of broken things in her life.

She passed away last summer....unexpectedly.....and silently.  I pray she knew Jesus was climbing that broken mountain with her and that He carried a backpack with her name on it to put all the broken pieces from her life into. 

I wish I had been a better friend and helped her transfer those broken pieces from Her back to His.

I wish......

But my wish for you, my friend, is to know the whole purpose of the empty cross is so you no longer have to carry the sharp, cutting broken pieces of your life anymore.  If you just call out to Him...."Come quick, Lord, I need You"....He'll carry the burden & weight of your broken pieces in that specially made & personalized backpack with your name on it.

Because He loves you.

GROWING SEEDS: "When My Breath Becomes Prayer"

 

When My Breath Becomes Prayer

 
"If your life, (Liz), isn't up in the air where the battle is, your life on the ground fails.  The more indifferent you are to prayer, the less God’s power makes any difference in your life.  Take every battle to the air in prayer — and God will take over your battles on earth."

I can't recall where I first heard this quote years ago, but it went hand-in-hand with a book I've been reading lately called "Hinds Feet On High Places" that was handed to me by a good friend a few weeks ago.  A friend who knew I wouldn't understand the title to this little paperback unless I opened it....a friend who knew I'd see myself in every page.....every line...of this book if I did open it.  She said it changed her life......it's changing mine. 

The book is written as an allegory......a story that can be interpreted to reveal a hidden message, almost like a parable.  It's the story of a spiritual journey (yours and mine) through difficult places.....through tormenting fears....dangers....as we climb the mountain to the High Place we all long to go to.  She knew I needed this book......she knew my journey of late has been a tough climb with many obstacles....and she knew I needed to be reminded where these obstacles came from.

"The voice of my Beloved!  Behold He comes LEAPING upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills." 
Song of Solomon 2:8

This means there are no obstacles which our Savior's love cannot overcome, and that to Him, mountains of difficulty are as easy as an asphalt road!  Like a gazelle bounding up the mountainside, God bounds to our side at the simple sound of our heart crying out to Him in prayer.  A quick "Come to my deliverance and come quickly, my God" brings Him leaping to our side in a moment.  But we have to recognize the obstacles that draw us away from our Shepherd's side and onto the side of the enemy.  It may surprise you to discover these obstacles have nothing to do with your finances, your health or even your relationships.  It has everything to do with Pride, Fear, Gloom, etc....i.e., friends of the Enemy.  And yes, I capitalized their names because they are REAL and they are ALIVE.

Are you keeping company with these friends of the Enemy lately?  Call out to your Shepherd when they come knocking.  They will run in fear......Trust me!

"The Lord God is my strength, and He will make my feet like Hinds' Feet,
and He will make me to walk upon mine High Places." 
Habakkuk 3:19

GROWING SEEDS: "Life and Death.....It Depends On Your god"

 There's a story about a 33-year old woman named Samantha who went on a cruise to Mexico with her 3 girlfriends.  It was her birthday weekend...she thought one drink would be alright....but one thing led to another....and next thing you know, she's sitting on a balcony railing 10 stories up at 2:00 am....ALONE.....falls backward into the dark murky waters of the Gulf of Mexico.  The ship moves on....no one knows she fell.  

"Look at what I've done for you today;
I've placed in front of you Life and Good
Death and Evil......."

It took almost 12 hours before anyone realized what happened.  I keep visualizing her in the cold deep water of the Gulf of Mexico....imagining what that must have felt like......200 miles from shore and seeing the lights of her cruise ship as they moved away from her.  She knew her destiny.....she knew her life was over.  Now she had to wait for death.....

"And I command you today; Love God, YOUR God. 
Walk in His ways; keep His commandments....
so that you can Live...
REALLY Live...."

She had 4 children waiting back home for her.  They say the bartender refused to continue to fill her glass with her god......she got angry....her friends went to bed and assumed she did too.....she stumbled to the edge of the balcony.....and for whatever reason, decided to sit on the top rail.....angry, drunk and willfully serving another god....

"But I warn you;
if you have a change of heart, refuse to listen obediently, and willfully go off to serve and worship other gods,
you will most certainly die."

I don't know the state of Samantha's heart at that moment when she watched from the cold, sobering waters of the Gulf of Mexico as her ship moved out of sight.....I pray she knew God and felt Him next to her.  I can't imagine the fear....the loneliness....the reality of what was happening to her.  But I do know that her decision that day affected more than just her.  It affected those four children she had birthed that would never see their mother again....or the husband waiting patiently at home for her return....or the parents who loved her deeply....or the three friends who were on this trip with her who now have to live with this tragedy and will forever be a part of this story.   But most of all....her decisions that day may have affected her destiny.

Our daily decisions...our daily god; can mean the difference between Life and Death......Blessing and Curse.

"....I place before you Life and Death. Blessing and Curse."
Deuteronomy 30:15-20
(The Message)

 

 

Day 3: A Roberto-Kind-of-Day

DAY 3:  January 30, 2017

Today......I had a sunrise with coffee, thank-you-very-much.  

But there was this one, itsy, bitsy black cloud that was hanging over the ship......and that one little black cloud caused all water excursions in Cozumel to be canceled.  Yep.......we had nothing to do today. 

The plan originally had been to go scuba diving.......Now lets stop right there.  Liz has never been scuba diving.  Liz wears glasses for a reason.  Liz was thinking the water was probably very cold.  Basically, Liz was just a tid-bit concerned 30 minutes of scuba training, with no glasses in very cold water might not be the most fun thing to do while in Cozumel.  I "think" I might have even mentioned this in my morning prayer journal and I "might" have asked God if He could find something else for us to do today. 

And He did.

He hooked us up with Roberto.......a divorced, Catholic, Father-of-an-11-year-old-daughter-he-hasn't-seen-in-years, Mexican cab driver who doesn't know why Catholics pray to the Virgin Mary (yes, I asked...), who graciously drove Debbie and I all over the island for the day.  FUN!!    He also has a sign on his mirror that says, "Tippers Go To Heaven".  Yep....we learned a lot about Roberto. 

He took us to the other side of the island where there is no electricity....just generators.  I bet most of you Cozumel travelers didn't know that, did you?  That's cause you didn't hire Roberto to take you to the other side of the island.....just sayin'....

He took us to the "Naked Beach" where you get 5 free minutes of a beach massage (after paying for an hour).....

where you can swing from these "not-so-safe" swings that look like they've been through a hurricane or two.....or sixteen.....

where birds bite.....(this is the English version of Spanish)....

and they make grasshoppers out of grass.....(now THAT makes sense.....GRASShoppers = GRASS)....My acridophobia (fear of grasshoppers) was on high alert and a bit creeped out......(it's REAL, people!)...

And ugly iguana's with cowboy hats that could be held and kissed for $5.....

.....we also laughed on top of sharp lava rock about the wall that was fixing to be built in Mexico.....

and then we posed, with the help of Roberto, with the massively blue ocean behind us and white sand beneath us. REST.....it's highly under-rated and by-the-way, have I mentioned lately how much I love my sister for this gift of Rest???

And when the day was nearly over and the sun was setting.....and the last couple (not us!!) made it back to the ship 30 minutes late and every balcony on the port side of the ship was filled with angry passengers yelling "BOOOOOOO" at these poor folk as they walked up the gang plank, we headed to the Dining Room to Table 616 to sit with our new dining friends Denny and Donna to eat chocolate volcano cake with vanilla ice cream.......

Day 2: It Was A Eat-Dessert-For-Supper Kind of Day

Day 2:  January 29, 2017

Fun Fact:  My sister is NOT a morning person.  Liz.....Is.  

We already knew this "might" be a stumbling block for us, so we planned ahead.  I loaded up my laptop and books, clothes to wear and shoes by the door right before going to bed on Day 1.  I snuck out about 6:00 am of Day 2 with all my "stuff" and headed for the smell of coffee.  There was no smell of coffee....coffee was on Floor 9 rear of boat.....we are on Floor 8 front of boat.....boat is 177 blocks long.  Liz needs coffee.

Lugging my laptop, my cell to take pictures with and needing coffee...like NOW, I finally locate it.  I then head for a "warm" place to sit, plug in (our room had 1....count them... "1" plug outlet...period) and journal.  I found the coziest little corner windowsill...with a plug outlet underneath....and a super view of the sunrise.  I'm all set....computer out and plugged in....cell in camera-ready mode....when...wait-for-it....the coffee cup turns over....next to the laptop.....on the cell....down the wall straight to the plug outlet.  May I take this moment to remind you....I haven't had a sip of coffee yet.

I move the computer first.....unplug.....grab the cell....and look frantically for something to clean up the mess I've just made.  All I find is "Discounted Masseuse" flyers lying on the counter and proceed to soak up coffee with 5x7 copy paper.  A lot of copy paper.  Like....no-one-got-the-discounted-massage-because-they-didn't-know-about-it lot of paper.

I make it back to the room after writing not-so-nice things in my journal to find my sister like this.....pure r-e-l-a-x-a-t-i-o-n!

So I give it a try.......

It's been awhile since I've really relaxed.....like "Really" relaxed.  It's been a sucker-punch kind of year and after the first 24 hours of unplugging from Facebook, Email, Texts, Calls, Life.....well, I was kinda understanding why people get a hut on the beach somewhere and just "disappear".  It was nice to just disappear for a bit......

We gave ourselves permission to eat dessert for supper......

We laughed till we almost peed at the Comedy Club as he attacked Bubba in the red tank top on the front row....

We were "blinded-by-the-light" from the laser light show in the Ivanhoe Theater (try saying that without singing the tune in your head....I double-dog-dare-you......)

And danced to 70's Trivia Night as we swung our hips, lifted our flabby arms and lit the flashlight on our cells to Bad Bad Leroy Brown.

Today - Was - A - Good - Day

Day 1: Leavinnnn'.......On A Big Boat..Don't Know When I'll Be Back Again.....

THIS......was the temperature on my Jeep thermometer when I pulled out of the driveway last Saturday morning at 5:50 am headed for Mexico.  I had promised to wake Chuck up before I left, but as I looked into that cherub-face of his as he slept soundly in our nice warm bed, he suddenly blurted out a snore like someone had just suddenly stopped the music by dragging the needle off the record without ever lifting it.  I felt he needed his rest.

After passing 2 wrecks, a dead deer and a shut-down freeway, I met my sister in Ennis....a little over two hours from home in a Walmart parking lot.  We turned the Jeep over to my brother-in-law and loaded up her Volkswagon and headed south.  #together.....#1stSisterTrip.....#CanWeGetAlong?

Debbie and I have never been on a Sister-Sister trip alone together.  We are radically different in many ways.....and wonderfully alike in others.  Every trip we have taken together in the past have included our Mom or her daughter or our husbands.  But never just she and I.  To say we started praying about this trip a month in advance is an understatement.   We were nervous....excited....apprehensive....and hopeful.

She unloaded me, and-the-4-tons-of-luggage-it-takes-for-two-Calloway-women-to-survive-5-days-in-Mexico, on the curb in Galveston.  Being the seasoned cruiser she was, her parting words to me were, "Stay right here...I'll be right back.  I'll park the car and catch the shuttle back to the terminal."  So I waited.  And waited.  And waited.  I watched as a van-load of laughing Red Hat Ladies jumped out and headed in the opposite direction of where I was sitting....and then a bus-load of disabled teens headed in that same direction....and here I sat.....posting on Facebook, "Cruising' with my sissy.....however I seem to have misplaced her at the moment...."

It was about this time I decided to leave my post and follow the bus-load of handicap teens.  This is when I found my sister.  I'm not pointing fingers or anything.....but it wasn't my fault.

We made our way into the terminal where us and our 2,798 new friends each got our ticket-to-ride and boarded the boat...umm..ship.  And this......was Day 1.

REST......

February 3, 2017

I've been home from Mexico for almost 24 hours......Chuck's snoring on the couch with his little beany on his head keeping all that hotness called Charlie inside his skinny body......and I'm sitting here in my favorite chair catching up on bills, emails and trying to find matching siding for the side of our house.  Life is back.....

About 5 months ago, my sister Debbie and I met for lunch at Maggiano's in Dallas.....a favorite for both of us.  A shared chopped salad and 16 baskets of bread later, she asked me if my passport was up-to-date.  "Well of course its not up-to-date" I tell her....I never go anywhere.....much less out of the country.  She gently "suggested" I might want to get to working on that.   I remember tilting my head....as if that would make sense of the whole comment....and plastering a question mark on my face.

My sister can't keep a secret.....she "planned" to keep the secret...but she can't....it's impossible.  She blurted out that we were going on a cruise the end of January and this was her gift to me.  A gift for the crappy year I had had.....it was her way of saying, "Dang girl, I want to help but don't know what to do....so I'm going to gift you some R-E-S-T from the chaos and take you to Mexico!"  Sometimes.....you just need to fly away.....

She planned everything.  EVERYTHING.  She suggested Chuck's son, Troy and his brother, Doug, tag-team by staying with my beloved while I was gone "just in case" he took a tumble in the lake in his wheelchair or something.  She suggested I make a trip to CVS to get that updated passport picture taken and she suggested I buy a new swimsuit.

And before I knew it, January was here......friends were loaning me "cruise-wear"......and male family members were bringing A/C thermostats to install and brisket to eat and preparing to teach Chuck how to cook while I was gone.   We were ready to Rest.

And this, my friends, is the story of our Rest..........

GROWING SEEDS: Beatitudes & Blessings

 

"Oh, how I wish I had wings like a dove; then I would fly away and rest! 
I would fly away to the quiet of the wilderness. 

 

 

How quickly I would escape - far away from this wild storm of hatred." 
Psalm 55:6-8

Amen David.  As Christians, our hearts ache much like David's did when he wrote this Psalm above. 

This past week.....we can't turn on the news without seeing protesters screaming obscenities through hate-filled signs in every major city in this country....we hear racist taunts coming from the mouths of people we once respected.....we have witnessed bizarre and outrageous women wearing bizarre and disgusting hats while holding in one hand the hand of their little child and a sign that says, "Abortion > God" in the other.  Sometimes.......it's just downright hard to love these people, right?

At times like this, one of the hardest lessons a Christian (or Jew or Muslim or Anyone) can cling to is what Matthew 5:43-47a teaches us:

“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’
I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst.
(The Message)

It's interesting to me that on that hillside in Galilee so many years ago, Jesus said these words just 26 verses after teaching the Beatitudes....the Blessings of this Life:

"You're BLESSED when you get your inside world--your mind and heart--put right.
Then you can see God in the outside world." (verse 8)

"You're BLESSED when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight
That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family." (verse 9)

"You're BLESSED when your commitment to God provokes persecution. 
The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom." (verse 10)

We.....that's YOU and ME....are the Light to this wicked world.  We are to take these blessings we were given and go Light up the darkness.

(All Scripture quoted from The Message)