I Want A Taser Gun.......

Thursday, October 1, 2009

I want a TASER! A pretty camo-pink Taser........

Ya ya ya, I know I live in a 99.999% crime free neighborhood; and yes its true, the worst crime in Mt. Vernon last week was reported by a woman on Main St. who reported losing her checkbook; it's orange with ladybugs on it and she last remembers having it in her car after church. But you just never know when you're going to need a Taser....Big City Crime sometimes finds its way to the Country, you know!

My niece, Jacque, and I were talking on the phone the other day about how we each need a Taser. A pretty camo-pink taser! We're willing to take Taser-Control Classes if need be and earn a certificate; why, I'm even willing to practice the Tasering on her! But we figure we're both safer with a Taser than a real gun. Who knows whether that guy running up behind you is truly planning on hurting you or maybe he was just returning your checkbook; you know, the orange with ladybugs on it checkbook. I'd much rather "electrocute" the guy with 50,000 volts than shoot a bullet through him if he was just returning my checkbook. Eventually, he'll get over the electrocution, but he may never get over that gunshot wound.

The pictures you see are of my niece Jacque and me PRE-taser.......the next picture is of my niece Jacque POST-taser........see, she's still alive!!

I can remember when I first realized I needed a Taser. Mom and I had taken the train at Union Station in downtown Dallas to downtown Ft. Worth last year for an event. We had planned on catching the 7:00 pm train back to Dallas, but unfortunately missed it. We had to wait for the 9:00 pm train which put us at Union Station in Dallas around 10:00 pm. We noticed this dude staring at us on the train, so we were keeping an "eagle eye" on him through the reflection in the window. As we got off the train, he went one way and we went another. We were relieved. We started towards the car, when we noticed another crazy-looking dude running out of a building right towards us yelling something. As I attempted to "hurry" Mom to the car, I was thinking, "Wow, I sure wish I had a Taser about now". See, I really could have used a Taser right then! We successfully made it to the car, but wow, a Taser would have been awesome!! Teach him to come running towards us yelling stuff......

And why camo-pink?? You know, I'm not really a pink-kind-of-gal, but I figure that if Charlie ever gets mad at me, he'll NEVER be caught dead borrowing my pink Taser and hurting me with it and if its Camo, he won't be able to "see" it anyway! It's CAMOUFLAGED! Win-Win!!! Plus, I just think its cool.

So, with Christmas coming up in 3-4 months, I figure I'll get my family thinking about the Taser idea.........and I hope they remember it needs to be a Camo-Pink Taser......afterall, I'm a girl and I live in the country now....