GROWING SEEDS: "Inviisible Prisons"

 

About 12 years ago, I found myself in a place of haunting by an accusation of something I didn't do by someone I cared deeply for.  I had no proof of my innocence and it followed me day and night; knowing I was innocent...yet unable to prove it.

At times like this, you actually start turning on yourself.  Your mind starts questioning how this could have happened and a corner of your heart starts believing the lie of the accusation, although that same heart knows its not true.  I prayed, and cried, most every day over this....the pain was great and I knew I had no way to fix it on my own and make it go away.

I remember standing in my prayer space....the shower....begging God for release from this pain.  And that is when I heard God's words in my heart as clear as I'm hearing the cat meow as I type this to you:

"You MUST forgive your accuser, Liz.
It will require you to pray FOR them....to FORGIVE them...

to THANK ME for them....to find the GOOD in them. 

And then pray for your own heart, Liz, to change."

My response?  "But God, I don't want to.  They didn't ask for forgiveness.  Why can't You just change them?"   He quietly reminded me if I ever hoped to be free from this hurt, it wasn't necessarily something I "wanted" to do, but rather something I "must" do.  It was required for MY own survival.

I remember telling God I was struggling to believe the words of forgiveness that were coming from my mouth but that I would do it anyway.  I began listing those things I loved about them...admired about them...reasons they were in my life.

“To Forgive Is To Set A Prisoner Free,
And To Discover That The Prisoner Was You”

As I walked out of the shower that day, I had begun the process of Forgiveness and the weight on my back was a little lighter.  With each passing day, I repeated the words "I Forgive You" to the walls of that shower as the peace in my heart grew and I began to live again.

I felt like a prisoner being released from bondage; I was finally breathing the fresh air of freedom.

"If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 

But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." (OUCH)

Matthew 6:14-15

GROWING SEEDS: "The Only Time God Tells You To Slip Out of Church Early"

 

 

"If you enter a place of worship and about to make an offering, then suddenly remember a grudge that a friend has against you,

abandon your offering, leave immediately,

go to this friend and make things right. 

Then and only then, come back and work things out with God." 

Matthew 5:23-24 (MSG)

The great Christian writer, Max Lucado, once wrote, "As far as I know, this is the only time God tells you to slip out of church early.  Apparently, he’d rather have you give your olive branch than your tithe.  If you are worshiping and remember that your mom is hacked-off at you for forgetting her birthday, then get off the pew and find a phone. Maybe she’ll forgive you; maybe she won’t. But at least you can return to your pew with a clean conscience.”

I had to chuckle visualizing 20 guilt-ridden Christians jumping up from their cushioned pews, running out the back door of the church to phone a disgruntled friend just as the offering plate made its way to them.   I can only imagine the speculation and lunchtime conversation about "why" from those left holding the offering plate.

But if Matthew 5:23-24 has taught me anything, it is that reconciliation is critical to my relationship with Christ. 

I'm no stranger to disgruntled relationships...after all, I'm a girl.  We invented the word "disgruntled".  We wear our feelings on our sleeves and get our hearts broken....and break others' hearts....easily.  But I love what the writer of Matthew is saying here.  Resolve your issues with each other FIRST....and then come to God SECOND to complete the reconciliation.

My tendency over the years in dealing with disgruntled relationships....whether it be them or me that's disgruntled....has been one of avoidance.  I tend to take the easy route by stepping back, saying nothing and then pulling away from the friendship, all the while sometimes harboring unforgiveness.  (I can see many of my disgruntled friends shaking their heads and whispering under their breath, "Yep, that's what Liz does!" when they read this confession.)  DO-NOT-DO-WHAT-I-DO.  That is the opposite of what Matthew 5:23 is saying. 

Instead, go to those you have offended and ask forgiveness....and forgive those who have offended you.  NOW.  Even when it requires an interruption of your worship time.  Be assured, God will be waiting when you return with a full dose of forgiveness for you.

GROWING SEEDS: "Just Let Go"

A few months ago, I saw a commercial for a company called "Let Go".  It showed a guy hanging off a cliff, but wouldn’t let go of a bowling ball.  Another guy is running from someone chasing and shooting at him, but he is dragging a BBQ grill with him.  The concept behind "Let Go" is to show people who are in situations where they need to drop something in order to survive, but don't want to let go of it.  The company, LetGo.com, is an online marketplace for those of us who need to sell those things that drag us down and keep us from living well.

I chuckled when I saw it cause so far in the first 30 days of 2020, I have let go of my "house", my "furniture", my "anxiety" and even my "expired-food-in-the-pantry" just to name a few.  I feel like I’ve lost 50 pounds having let go of the things that have weighed me down for so long.

But we're also in a season of "Letting Go" as we approach the Season of Easter.  Many Christian churches celebrate what is referred to as a Lenten Season that encourages letting go of "something" during the 40 days leading up to Easter.  As someone not raised in this tradition, its been confusing to me when I would hear of friends giving up things like chocolate, ice cream or wine...but not margaritas....no, never margaritas, for the sake of Lent.

“What’s the point of Lent”, I kept asking them.  "It's Tradition" was their standard answer. 
.
And as I’ve studied this long-time "tradition", I’ve discovered that Lent is less about tradition or our dietary habits and more about letting go of.....Ourselves.

We need to let go of those things that interfere with the communication lines between God and us....you know, that static in the line between the Creator and His created (that's you and me, btw) and not the mere tradition of giving up “something” for Lent.  Is chocolate really interfering with your relationship with God?  If so, sell it on LetGo.com.  Does beer or wine keep you from loving your neighbor?  LetGo.com can help!  But don't give something up if it’s not what is causing the static-in-the-line between you and God.  If it is just about self-improvement, then it’s just about us, and not about God.  How about instead, we give up grudges and vengeance and meanness and pettiness and rudeness?  Now that’s a Lent tradition God would be proud of!

Our life is more than just the things we haul around.  We must "Let Go" of ourselves....in order to survive.

GROWING SEEDS "Whose Leading You"

 

 

For the past month, I've been noticing a family of 28 white-beaked ducks swimming from one side of the cove to the other while I'm having my morning coffee.  Back and forth, back and forth they go each day.  One duck, we'll call him Darrell, is the obvious leader....always out front by himself, and the rest just follow him wherever he takes them.  Darrell could take them to the edge of the dam and jump if he wanted and they would all follow, but instead, he continues taking them back and forth from shore to shore for no apparent reason.  I'm going to assume this is "Morning Exercise Time" for this sweet little trusting family, but I just don't know.  I think I'll ask my duck professional friend, Donna McFarland.

But what I have noticed is the 27 followers all trust their leader, Darrell.  They trust him to keep them safe, to have their best interest and to not lead them over the dam.  They are blindly obedient and never appear to question his decisions.  They just follow Darrell.

A couple days ago, I saw one of the ducks get distracted on the shore while the rest of the family were headed back across the cove.  The leader noticed #23 was missing....and turned the entire family around and went back to get the the attention-deficit-rebel duck off the shore and back to the safety of the family.  It was an amazing lesson in keeping our eyes on the One who leads us. 

More times than I can count, I have been that attention-deficit-rebel who has taken her eyes off the One who leads her.  I have been distracted by life...by bright and shiny things....by struggles...by people....by places I want to go instead of where He knows I "need" to go.  And He always returns for me....telling me, "Keep your eyes on Me, Liz, and follow where I take you"...not because He doesn't want me to be happy, but because the journey is not a safe place to be without Him.

I'm a work in progress and feel confident I cause God much frustration.  But like a thousand times before, He just keeps reminding me He will always, always return for me when the things of this world cause my eyes to wander away from Him.  And He promises to never let me fall over the dam.

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;

I will counsel you with my eye upon you."

Psalm 32:8