So there's this song I heard yesterday thanks to our good friend Blair Jones called, "The Mississippi Squirrel Revival". It's sung by funny guy Ray Stevens and goes a little something like this:
In the First Self-Righteous Church
In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula (Pascagoula)
It was a fight for survival that broke out in revival
They were jumpin' pews and shouting "Hallelujah!"
Yesterday.....my deepest fear was met "head" on!
While sitting in the full-to-capacity pews of First McKinney Church, smack dab in the middle of the sermon, I feel something hit the side of my head. My hand immediately went up to see what it was and I could "feel" what felt like a large bug in my hair. I swatted it away, not knowing whether it was actually a bug or a toddlers pacifier that hit me in the head.
A few minutes go by when I see the man on my right leaning forward whispering something to the young woman in front of him. She immediately gasps and starts to grab the back of her head....but not before he grabbed the back of her head and proceeded to remove a large bug from her hair. The entire pew gasped.....and it was then, that I realized it was the same dang bug that smacked me upside the head a few minutes earlier.
So what does this have to do with my deepest fears?
It - Was - A - GRASSHOPPER.
If you know me, you KNOW this is INDEED my biggest fear. I will kill snakes....I will fight hornets...I will shoot armadillos....but do not let a grasshopper come within 30 feet of me. It's called Orthopterophobia (I Googled it years ago!!) and its REAL!
Of all the cars sitting in a parking lot, they pick MY windshield to sit themselves down on.....its MY helmet that millions of them attach themselves to while on a motorcycle in Wyoming....and of all 750 people occupying space in the pews of First McKinney, they pick MY head to land on.
Some serious "revival" broke out in the First McKinney Church 5th pew from the back yesterday. And I think I know why.....
Satan arrived.
(Revised Version of Song)
"The day the grasshopper went berserk
In the First McKinney Baptist Church
In that sleepy little town of McKinney
It was a fight for survival that broke out in revival
They were jumpin' pews and shouting "Hallelujah!"
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