Merry Christmas from The Etheridges

As I'm typing this to you, it is pouring outside..... The lightening and thunder and pounding-on-the-roof rain is a constant reminder of a year ago.  Not that I'm counting, but we are 3 days, 12 hours away from that fateful day.....and here come the rains.

At one of the Water District meetings I attended earlier this past year, a man whose house had also flooded, stood up and said, "I don't want to be considered the Poster-Boy for Flood Victims."  I squirmed in my seat....felt a sting that I had possibly made myself just that.....the Poster-Girl for Flood Victims.  After all, I had Blogged about this flood most every day for weeks and months and allowed everyone-and-their-mother to walk through the muddy water with us.

Those man's words, whether he realized it or not, were wise words.  Yes, I still feel deep anxiety every time it rains....wake from sleep at the clap of thunder and pray till the rains stop....have friends who start praying for the Etheridge's every-single-time it rains....so I guess we really are the Poster-Family for Flood Victims....like it or not.

But I also hope we are the Poster-Family of God.....remembering the enormous grief He must have felt to allow His only Son to leave the comfort of Heaven, knowing full well the pain He would eventually endure....just to rescue you and me from the flood of life on this earth.   It's proof He loves us just as much.

He was the Poster-Boy of GRACE.

Merry CHRISTmas.......we hope you enjoy our Video-Christmas Card.....

Merry Christmas from The Etheridge's

(Click on Link)

Rain Always Brings Growth

 Rain Always Brings Growth.....

11-28-2022 & 11-28-2016

 2022

 

As I opened up this place called Facebook.....a place of Memories and History.....of Joy and Grief....I see this staring back at me from 2016.

"There is no FEAR in letting tears come. Sadness is a GIFT to avoid the nothingness of numbness, and all hard places need water.

Grief is a GIFT, and after a rain of tears, there is always more of you than there was before the tears.…

See more

 2016

I woke to the wind howling... the rain pouring out of the sky like a hard sobbing cry this morning.....Today marks the 1-year anniversary of the beginning of a month-of-floods for this little family of ours....

 

"There is no fear in letting tears come. Sadness is a GIFT to avoid the nothingness of numbness, and all hard places need water. Grief is a GIFT, and after a rain of tears, there is always more of you than before. What seems to be undoing you can ultimately remake you." 

 

(Ann VosKamp, "The Broken Way")

 

Rain always brings growth.......

When 109 becomes 1 Again

I woke to the sound of rain and thunder this morning...first "real" rain since late Spring.  I prepared my coffee and stood on the back porch in the dark for a few minutes......enjoying the coolness of the air and the flashes of light screaming across the sky.

It was almost like the skies had something important to say about this day ahead.......

As I look at the new Christmas tree we put up today....a whole 144 hours before Thanksgiving....I see the red cardinals scattered throughout this new tree.....a tree that replaced the old Christmas tree which is now making its home at the bottom of Lake Cypress Springs so fresh crappy will have a place to live next year.  And I can't help but think about my cardinal-loving Mom and a Christmas this year without my Jewell.....my 109 year old Meals on Wheels friend.....family really......who, as of today.....this very day at around 10:45 am.... arrived Home.  She limped to the Finish Line after a very exhausting long run.  She was most assuredly met there by her handsome-Jimmy-Dean-Look-Alike husband Roger.....her Mom and her Dad who thought she hung the moon.....along with her grandpa- the-postman she loved dearly.....and hundreds...if not thousands....of family and friends who loved her from the deepest part of their souls.  What she didn't realize until 10:45 am this morning was that she made a difference.....a huge difference....on a lot of lives. 

She made a difference in my life.

In all the years I knew Jewell (June) Clay; in all the times she was asked how she was feeling or if she hurt anywhere.....her answer never changed: "I'm fine....I don't hurt at all.  I'm happy right where I am".  109 years old.....weeks away from being 110....and she was fine right where she was.

Three weeks ago, I was visiting her in her home and felt led to turn on my phone recorder...something I'd done many times before.  I asked her one question, "Would you want to be 16 again?"  She tilted her head as if to think about that for a moment and said, "I'm satisfied right where I am".

https://youtu.be/xDaCsmddFSc

I would venture to say Jewel knew she was close to the Finish Line....that she could see it ahead ...it was in-sight.  She might have even heard Roger encouraging her on....."Just a little further, Honey.....you're almost there....I'm waiting for you." 

Thank you Jewell....for slowing down and walking with me awhile on this earth.  

I am a better person from knowing you.  

Now go.....RUN to the party that is waiting for you.....your birthday number just started over......

Life's Shell Game.....

What you discover about life’s shell game 

is that it’s hardest to follow the pea when you’re the pea. 

~Robert Brault

A little over a week ago, my friend Pam and I jumped in the Jeep and headed to the southern most part of Dallas.....a 2-hour drive from our East Texas home......to stand in a line of Christian ladies just like us....so we could look eye-to-eye into the beautiful eyes of Ann VosKamp.

I met Ann three years ago....not literally...but in the pages of her book 1000 Gifts.  It changed my life.  I felt the axis of my world shift ever so slightly to the right and a strange sense of Peace took over where Fear used to live.  I love this woman.  Like...I LITERALLY love this woman.  And here I was....getting to meet her face to face.  It was better than meeting Elton John.

It was just the day before meeting Ann, Chuck and I had taken a little bit of East Texas with us when we made the same 2-hour trip into downtown Dallas to UTSW.  We were meeting with Dr. Hornberger....Chuck's urologist.  We didn't realize until we were well on our way that we had dressed alike that day.  We looked like two country bumpkins coming to the "big city" in our bright red flannel shirts.  We laughed (although he was asleep when I snapped this picture...LOL).....

There was more red going on that day than just on our flannel shirts, though......there was internal bleeding...there was soul-bleeding.....there was "I-hope-this-isn't-what-I-think-it-is" bleeding from our hearts.

But it was what we feared.  Cancer....with a capital C.  It's difficult even writing that 6-letter word to you.....

 It's Fall....and I remember something I read Ann say three years ago ....."Count the blessings of this life.....number them....write them down."  So I grab my journal I've been writing in....I open straight up to #423 in my Thanksgiving Journal...."Thank You, Lord, for the season of Fall.....the beauty just before the rest of Winter."

"You defeat your dark when Thanksgiving is your default. 
It is in the dark that God is passing by."

Ann VosKamp

And I must admit, it's hard sometimes to not look up into the heavens and ask "Why??  Haven't we been through enough this year, Lord?  Why?"

And then He gently reminds me of the scripture I just painted on the freshly sheetrocked living room wall as He meets me on the dock each morning and we sip our coffee together....waiting in anticipation for the gift of a sunrise He hands me when the sun clips the tops of the trees over the Carmichael's house.....

"When you go thru deep waters, Liz,

I will be with you."

Isaiah 43:2

 

And I trust Him....cause He sees tomorrow....I just see my feet.

Keeping Our Heads Above Water - Final Chapter

From my Prayer Journal, December 28, 2015, 4:45 am

"Oh Father.....You have chosen to let us climb a mountain the past 24 hours.  I have no doubt You have a very good reason for this climb....whether it strengthens our legs....or strengthens others who are watching.  I don't know.....but we have just gone through almost 24 hours of solid rain....hard rain...mad rain....EVIL rain.  Like the ruler of this earth is furious and shoving this in our face and saying, "See?  See?...Where is your God now?"  

I wrote this in my prayer journal on this very computer I'm writing to you today in the early morning hours of Monday, December 28, 2015.  The four of us (the dog, the cat, Charlie and I) were heaped up on the bed....and it was still raining.....hard.

....But I don't turn my back...I don't take my eyes off You...and I wonder if Peter was scared walking on that water 2000 years ago even though he had his eyes focused on You?  I wonder cause I'm so scared right now.  It's been one of the longest, most horrific nights of my life....and You and I have talked all night long.....not a wink of sleep as I watched the water pour in every crevice of this beautiful house I am simply a tenant of.  This is Your house...not mine.  I have heard things banging into the outside of this house.....things falling on the inside of this house as the water....the thick, muddy water, and I'm actually terrified to see what outside looks like when dawn comes.....

Its not been until recently I have been able to read back over what I wrote that night.  I knew it would be hard and I knew I haven't been the most stable emotionally lately....mountains of tears that have built up over these past 8 months have been falling as fast and hard as the rains were that night.  I think my tear bucket is full and there's been no place for them to go but out my eyes and down my face.....I think they are relief tears.

.....You, the Landlord, have allowed this to happen to a piece of property You own.....and I know....I KNOW...you can turn this tragedy into good.  And I'm going to keep my eyes open....wide open....looking and waiting for that miracle.  Cause I know when its darkest.....Your Light shines brightest.  So as I sit here in the bed....an island really...surrounded by almost a foot of water....with my beloved Charlie....my Molly and Kruger huddled together in this tiny bed....we are together...we are safe...we will be okay.  Cause there is a blessing in all of this somewhere.....

YES.....a thousand blessings in this mess.  And sharing this with you is one of them.   But I won't lie.....it's hard to share this with you cause that means I'm reliving it and reliving it means more tears and more tears means there's an ugly mess going on behind these words.

.....We are surrounded by water on all sides....and I'm surprised we aren't floating away.  Be with us as we wait for dawn....for first light to see if our boathouse is still out there.....I could see that the water is up to the top handrail of the ramp out back and that was hours ago.....Be with us, Father....be with us......
 

I'm watching the sun come up as I share these words with you from our boat dock this morning.  The sun is staring me in the face right this second.....and I glance to my left and see the house that has scriptures written all over its hidden studs....thousands of prayers prayed over it and I see the answer to my prayer I prayed that night 8 months ago.....Cause there is a blessing in all of this somewhere.....and the blessing was...YOU.  You prayed, you cried, you ached right alongside us this year.  Many of you helped us with your hands, with your pocketbooks, with your knowledge, with your faith.  And we are beyond grateful.  Beyond Grateful.

We aren't finished with this journey just yet.....but close....so close we can see the white space at the end of the last paragraph of this chapter. 

And God used YOU to help Keep Our Heads Above Water......You.  You were the blessing He had planned all along.

Happy Pappo Day

June 19, 2016


MY FAITH Comes From My Pappo

I received an early birthday present from my seriously cool granddaughters and their parents last weekend.  There were a couple brass bracelets, among other things, with one engraved, "My Faith is Bigger Than My Fears".  After the 6 months we've had, these are powerful words engraved in my soul.

See, it's because of my Dad (Pappo) that each of us kids have the Faith we have.  It was his dedication and determination that we be raised in church and taught about a God that loves us...unconditionally....even during those hard times.  Yes.....those times when Fear tries to take over and shove Faith right out of the way.   But if our Faith is Bigger than our Fears, then Faith WINS....every time!

Thanks, Pappo, for instilling Faith into each of your three kiddo's.......it saved our lives.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.

"I'mmmmmm Okaaaay....."

“I’MMM OKAAAY”

If you’ve lived around someone with MS for very long, more than likely, you’ve seen them take a tumble or two.  Whenever my Charlie takes a tumble, his favorite thing to say is, “I’MMMM  OKAAAAYYYY.....”  I can’t count how many times I’ve heard a “crash” in another part of the house or garage......I stop what I’m doing.......stand very still......until I hear his voice yelling, “I’MMMM OKAAAAYYYY...”......I then know its safe to continue what I was doing and stop holding my breath.  

We’ve had many, many of these tumbles throughout our marriage and so far, none have been too serious.  Well, unless you count the time he walked into an exterior metal stairway at his favorite italian restaurant and broke his neck.........but I would consider that more of a “Hunger” issue opposed to a “Balance” issue.

Anyway, one such incident was when we were traveling in our motorhome.  We were visiting some old friends of ours and had just arrived at their lovely home in the country. They were standing in their yard waving and watching us pull in..... I pulled the motorhome as close to the edge of the road as I could to allow cars to go by.  As Charlie prepared to step out of the RV, his legs failed him and down he went; he rolled and rolled down the hill and into the drainage ditch.  It was like a “sloooooow mooootion” movie as we stood by, helpless, for what seemed like an eternity before his body came to a stop. We then hear, “I’MMMM OKAAAYYYY”  and then followed with, “Hey Norm, you sure need to clean out your drainage pipe” as he proceeded to pick himself up and dust himself off.

Another time occurred at the halfway point up Pikes Peak in Colorado.  We were traveling on our motorcycle trike and had stopped to take a break and rest.  While there, we met another couple, an older couple, from California who were intriqued with the trike.  As we were talking with them, Charlie decided to take his jacket off, unfortunately, he was standing too close to the edge of the mountain at the time.  As he was pulling his arm out of the sleeve, he lost his balance and, as if some invisible force pushed him backwards, he was gone.  As we all rush to the site where he had been only seconds before, we see he didn’t fall too far and fortunately, we heard those beautiful words, “I’MMMMM OKAAAYYY”......The older lady grabbed his hand and pulled my Charlie back up from the clinches of Pikes Peak.

Last June, we found ourselves just outside of Mt. St. Helens in Washington state.  Just beautiful!!  We found a wonderful little campground for the RV and were elated to settle in for a few days.  There was this large hill just in front of our RV that separated the campground from a creek with a nice little walking path on top.  We hadn’t been settled in very long when I hear Chuck yell out, “Murphy needs to poop.  I’ll take him out.”  I didn’t think anything else about it until a few minutes later, here comes Charlie and Murphy; Charlie full of grass and dirt on him and Murphy looking like he still needed to poop.  I guess by my befuggled look, Charlie decided he better explain he and Murphy tried to climb the large hill (we’ve since named it Mt. St. Helens, Jr.) and didn’t make it.  Charlie rolled all the way down the hill with Murphy in tow the entire way.  But, he was “OKAAAYYY”.....thank goodness.  People pointed and smiled at us in the campground after that.......

Never Get In A Canoe With An MS Patient

NEVER GET IN A CANOE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS MS

Here’s the deal:  If your MS “loved one” suggests a nice, slow, romantic canoe ride, take their hand in yours, gaze into their loving eyes and softly reply, “NOT ON YOUR LIFE!”

We live in a nice, quiet lakeside community and have the most wonderful neighbors.  It was decided over dinner one weekend to have a canoe/kayak race between us and two other couples.  I’ve got to tell ya, while they were discussing the race, I was starting to worry....some might say, even panic.   Although we were the youngest of the three couples, we were the only ones with a canoe and I was the only one with an MS “loved one”.  

Because Charlie is 6’2” and has legs like stilts, not to mention no feeling in his legs and feet,, it took a little work to get him in the canoe without it tipping over.  As we lined the canoe and two kayaks up at the starting point, I remember Charlie telling me to just follow his lead.  He said to listen to him and we’d win this thing hands-down; we could take these older couples!!!  Before I knew it, instead of following the shore like the other two contestants, we were heading out into the middle of the lake with little to no control of this darn canoe.  Chuck’s yelling “LEFT” then “RIGHT” then “STOP ROWING” then “ROW ROW ROW”....it was a total disaster and I believe we arrived at the Finish Line about 10 minutes after the last kayak arrived.  Oh ya, we showed those older couples alright!!   All I wanted to do was get the heck out of that canoe cause I was starting to lose faith in my ol’ boy Charlie, not to mention getting nascious from the constant rocking motion.

But no; they all wanted to continue this journey down a nearby creek..........so off we went down this canopy, tree lined, snake pit of a creek.  I could just imagine the “water rats” living in this creek and possibly even an alligator.  I SOOOOOOO didn’t want to go there...... So I begged Charlie to not tip the canoe over; pleaded with him to stay still; told him how bad it would be if we fell out.......he laughed.  

And then it happened.   All I remember about that moment is the canoe rocking; me yelling; Chuck moving his lifeless legs around and laughing; me screaming.  I then felt myself falling into the water and my feet unable to touch the bottom......the water was cold.....I shoot out of like a bullet desperately trying to find solid ground to land on....all the while, imagining the snakes, water rats and other critters that must be living in this swampy creek.  I finally find solid ground to sturdy myself on and notice that all I see of Charlie is his cowboy hat lying on the surface of the creek.   Turns out, he had already made his way over to the two neighbor kayaks and they were all having a good laugh on my account.  

It was a very quiet trip out of the creek and back home.  I remember begging a neighbor to switch places with me so I wouldn’t have to ride back in the canoe with Charlie, but I had no takers.   And to this day, five years later, I stand firm on my committment to never find myself in a canoe with my Charlie ever again.  

Keeping Our Heads Above Water - Chapter 30

“Father,
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Give me open hands and open doors
Put Your light in my eyes and let me see
That my own little world is not about me.”
― Matthew West

The sun is coming up...the misty fog is lifting off the lake and I'm sitting here....on our own dock....at this very moment.  The chi-chi birds are nose-diving Kruger-the-1-claw cat beside me as we both sit here watching the sky change colors. 

 

WE - ARE - HOME

I won't lie.  I silently questioned whether this day would ever come. A week ago today,  in the rain (of course!), we moved for the third time since the end of December....but this time, back into our own home...with floors, walls and a toilet.

I've struggled over this past week with how to describe this monumental moment to you.  There's so many things I want to share with you....the anxiety, the tears, the anger, the FEAR, the toll its taken on my husband's health.....but then I realized these were all things from Me and not from God.  It's too much about us and not enough about Him.  I think that's why I will be painting this Matthew West quote on a wall somewhere on our brand smackin' new sheetrock:

"Father, break my heart for what breaks Yours.

Give me open hands and open doors 

Put Your light in my eyes and let me see

That my own little world is not about me."

When your life gets displaced for a moment in time.....whether its the loss of a job, a death, or even a dang flood.....it's so easy to justify carrying the badge of "Whoa is me".  We say to anyone who'll listen, "Poor me....how will I ever get past this?"  We make it all about us.  But it's not.....it's really not.  This 5-6 months of "inconvenience" for us is a simple bleep on the radar in relation to our eternity....our month-of-Sundays....our forever. 

Trust me, it's been a roller coaster ride reminding myself daily this won't last forever....I have cried tears of "Whoa is me" most all of the 157 days since The Flood.....and like the chapter of a book you can't wait to end, we can see the final paragraphs of this chapter we are living coming to a close.

Our chapter isn't quite finished yet, though......there is still a lot of work to do and we are living in only 1/2 of the house right now.  If you drew a straight line down the middle of our house, we are living in the almost-completed West Wing.....the East Wing is still under construction with sawhorses, paint cans and boxes of 350' of left-over wood flooring.  It's not at all uncommon to race from the West Wing to the East Wing in your pajamas, while dodging wood-sawing-contractors, to get your underwear out of the master bedroom closet.   We are strangely feeling like Shelley Long and Tom Hanks in the movie, "The Money Pit".......

There is still beadboard to paint (ughhh).....cabinets to clean....light fixtures to hang.  But we are closer today than we were yesterday.  And tomorrow.....yep...we'll be a couple sentences closer to the end of this chapter than we are today. 

Thank you for praying for us.  Thank you for sharing how our Flood has helped you in your own flood and thank you for continuing to live this chapter right alongside us.

The sun WILL come out tomorrow......

Keeping Our Heads Above Water - Chapter 29

May 20, 2016

There's this saying I painted on the Dining Room wall shortly after we moved into the Lakehouse......

"...And when we grow old, 

I will find two chairs 

and set them close

each sunlit day,

that you and I,

~ in quiet joy ~

may rock

the world away."

We had been married a short four years at the time.....and these words were romantic....they were sweet....they were lovey-dovey sappy....and they were the first words I had ever painted on a wall.  I spent hours....maybe even a day...carefully making sure they were straight and perfect on that Dining Room wall.  For fifteen years, they've been staring down at us over Thanksgiving dinners, endless games of Mexican Train Domino's and watching grandchildren grow out of high chairs into teenagers.

This week the wall is bare.  One of the many sacrifices of the Flood.  A new color replaces the old....a new chapter replaces the old.  ~ Deep breath.....and life moves on.



We are less than two weeks away from moving back into the home with the double swing on the back porch that Chuck built so many years ago for us to rock the world away.  It will have been 5 months since The Flood.....and we have learned so many lessons during this time.....

~ We have learned that we have too much "stuff".  That we can live with a fraction of the things we had on December 27, 2015.  Less stuff means a lighter load.....and we plan on lightening the load...ALOT.

 ~ We have learned we don't need to watch House Hunters International every night in bed.  We used to call it our little mini-vacation before falling asleep.  But the two houses we have lived in these past 5 months have had no TV in the bedroom....so we've been falling asleep talking or with a book in our hands instead.  And we are happier.....and smarter.

~ We have learned that sometimes God chooses people to go through things.  Remember Job?  I always thought Satan picked Job....but the reality is, it was God who suggested Job to Satan. "Have you considered my servant, Job?"  Chew on that one for awhile....

~ We have learned that good people still exist.  I have lost count of the meals we have been brought, money we have been given, hands and feet that have worked for us and arms that have hugged us.  At first I tried to keep track of everyone.....had a spreadsheet and everything...but I finally threw it up in the air and gave up.

GOOD - PEOPLE - STILL - EXIST, 

PEOPLE.

And we have learned we can still see a sunrise...a sunset...a crazy awesome cloud...and be moved to tears.  Some things never change...Flood or no Flood....and I always race to show Chuck the gift God gave my eyes and soul to see that day.

And then we sit out on the back porch and rock the day away.....
 

"YOU INTENDED
TO HARM ME,

BUT GOD

INTENDED IT ALL

FOR GOOD."

Genesis 50:20