GROWING SEEDS: "Hold Tight...Be Patient...and Wait for the Tug"

 

 

The year before Chuck and I were married, we commissioned an artist in Dallas to make a life-size sculpture of a young boy and his grandfather fishing off a log.  The grandfather had his arm around the boy's shoulder and was looking at him as if to say, "Good job, boy....hold the rod tight....be patient ....wait for the tug".

The statue were a replica of my husband's son Troy and Chuck's father, Pap.  He commissioned it as a way to remember the cherished moments of grandson and grandfather spending quality time together.  And Chuck was massively proud of this project.

When we moved from Dallas to the lake 18 years ago, we moved Troy and Pap with us as they sat on that bronze log and fished the days away.  It was a way for people to find our house by boat....a life-sized memory that made us smile each time we went to the boathouse...and was a great conversation starter as we told the story of Troy and Pap to anyone who would listen.

But now, the lakehouse is sold....everything has been moved....the page has been turned.   That same little boy who is now a man, came to move the statue one last time this week; to his own house.  It will continue to be smiled at by those who see it...the story will continue to be told and the memory and legacy will most certainly continue on.

But it wasn't until it was being moved a few days ago that I saw it with a different set of eyes.  I saw the complete picture.  I was reminded that God was much like Pap....arm around His children's shoulders saying, "Good job, child of mine...I will encourage you through the Floods of disease, death and discouragement.  I will help you hold your head up...to be patient...and to wait for My Spirit's tug.  I will see you through the Summers Heat and the Winters Snow." 

And the promise that He will never be further than the seat on the log next to us through all the days of our life, and then we will dwell in the house of the Lord....forever.

"God Is Always Near Us.

Always For Us.

Always In Us."

Max Lucado

GROWING SEEDS: "Groans of the Heart

 

 

So there once was this lady named Elizabeth.  She longed for a child....she prayed for a child....she begged God for a child.  But there was only silence.  Year after year, prayer after prayer went by....only crickets could be heard through her sobs.  Until one day in her senior citizen age, God said, "It's time, Elizabeth.  I am giving you a child."   I can only imagine somewhere between her belly laugh over the craziness of God's statement and the tears of joy over the miracle, she must have wondered, "But why now, Lord?"

Social Security had already kicked in for her and she was probably wondering if maternity was even covered.  The thought of a baby crawling around hanging onto her Medicare walker must have been terrifying and yet, the happiest feeling she had ever felt.  Oh, to have been a bug on the wall of her mind!

We've all been Elizabeth.  Longed, prayed and begged God for something we desperately wanted and needed; something we felt would be good for us....and wondered if God even heard our prayers or cared about our happiness.  Much like Elizabeth from Luke 1, I am coming out of a season of crickets.  God has been strangely quiet on certain daily prayers I have prayed over and over for years....begging for rescue....negotiating with Him and pleading for MY way and in MY time.

But as I step ahead a few paragraphs into this new chapter in my life, I stop and look back and it all makes sense.  The years of waiting....the deafening sound of silence...and what looked like unanswered prayers were just the opposite.  He WAS answering my prayers.....but in His time; not mine.  Because my time wasn't the best time....it just seemed that way from where I was standing.

And in the words of Tim Keller, "Liz, when a child of Mine asks Me for something, I don't give them what they ask; I give them what they would have asked for if they knew everything I know." 

Trust God's timing, friends; it's always right on time.....

The Ache For Home Lives In All Of Us

 

"The Ache For Home Lives In All Of Us."

~ Maya Angelou

I woke a few years ago to a phone call from the brother of my good friend Bill Lovell; a 90+ year old gentleman I first met while delivering Meals on Wheels in Winnsboro 10 years earlier. He had passed away in his sleep the night before I received the call.

I was overjoyed.

Since losing his wife years ago, he had lived alone. It's harder for a man to live alone than a woman, you know.....they usually don't live as long as Bill did without a wife by their side. And Bill, whose sight had long gone and hearing not too far behind.....had lived a lonely life since his wife passed and ached to be with her once again.

My memory of Bill is of him standing in the driveway of his neon yellow frame house in Winnsboro with his dog Bullet by his side. He was waiting for me....for anyone really....to visit with. He was waiting for that hug we shared. And he never failed to say, "Can you sit for awhile and talk?"and then would hand me a ziplock bag of pecans he had picked earlier that morning.....cause he felt he needed to "give back". I hated pecans....but I never told Bill that.

He never looked back in his life with regret. He always looked forward.....forward to Mondays....forward to visiting friend-to-friend....forward to giving me a trinket off his shelf with an inch of dust on it.....and most of all, forward to going Home.....Home to his wife and his beloved Savior.

And that day......Bill's dreams came true.

"For this world is not our permanent home;

we are looking FORWARD to a home yet to come."

Hebrews 13:14

GROWING SEEDS: "We Are Given What We Need"

There's a story about a 15 year old girl whose Mom had died.  Her Dad was a wonderful man....did everything with his daughter....ran marathons together, worked on homework and fixed meals together.  Until one day, they were jogging together and she noticed she was losing her sight.  Turned out, she had cancer in her eyes and eventually, lost her sight.

That was the day her Dad left her.

She could no longer feel his presence around her, hear his voice or know if he was even near.  She found herself forced to do everything on her own.  Simple things, like putting toothpaste on her toothbrush or mascara on her eyes.  Daily, she would yell out to the quiet, "Why have you deserted me, Dad?  "Why did you leave me?

In desperation, she put her running shoes on and ran a trail behind her house she knew by memory.  But she took a wrong turn and almost ran off a cliff.  And that was when her Dad ran to her side and stopped her before she fell.  With sadness in her voice, she asked him, "Why did you leave me?”  He held her face in his hands and said, "I never left you, Sweetheart.  I was here all the time."

The story then takes us back....back to him quietly moving obstacles out of her way without her knowing it...keeping her safe when she couldn't see him doing it.

"My daughter, you thought I left you....and as much as it pains me, you were right.  I stepped aside so you could be more courageous than you ever imagined.  I stepped aside so you could discover how beautiful you are inside and out and to challenge yourself in ways you never considered.  I stepped aside so you could discover how strong you really are."

"But I was always right here", her Father answered.  "No one believes in you more than I do.  You know that.  Think about how far you've come.  I gave you what you needed....not what you wanted."

This is the story of us, sweet friends.  I don’t mean just lake water invading a house or cancer spreading through your body, death of a loved one or broken hips or broken friendships. This is about our daily lives and specifically, my life these past few years.  If you haven't stood at the edge of a cliff at some point, I guarantee you will.  Sometimes, God has to step back so we can get stronger, so we can learn to trust....and realize how courageous and strong we can be whengiven what we need...not what we want.

GROWING SEEDS: "Forgive the Speaker, for Her Sins Are Many"

 

 

Max Lucado almost always starts his talks with a prayer that includes this, "Father, forgive the speaker, for his sins are many" as he prays for himself.  I love this.  Oh, if only we all started our conversations with God this way!  To humble ourselves as we place our sins, one by one, at His feet, never to be mentioned again.

"Then she knelt behind Him at His feet, weeping. 

Her tears fell on His feet, and she wiped them off with her hair......

Then Jesus said to the woman, 'Your sins are forgiven."

Luke 7:38 & 48

I've often wondered what God does with the tears I cry.  Psalms 56:8 says, "You keep track of all my sorrows.  You have collected all my tears in Your bottle.  You have recorded each tear and sorrow in Your book."  I think about the sinful woman in Luke 7 who boldly washed Jesus' feet with her tears and how much she must have cried to create enough tears to clean His feet.  Her remorse was huge.  

Many years ago, I repeated something to someone I knew I shouldn't have.  It fell out of my mouth faster than a Liz-speeding-ticket.  Although it was a truthful statement and I can sit here and attempt to justify and explain my reason for doing it, in the end, it served no purpose to repeat and, worse, it caused hurt to someone I cared deeply for.  I don't think I have ever felt more disappointed in myself  than I did at that very moment.  I cried buckets of tears daily over what I had done....how I had indirectly hurt someone I loved...and I begged God to forgive me.  He did....but I struggled to forgive myself.  Why?  Because I didn't feel I "deserved" to be forgiven.

In time, the deep scar of this sin began to scab and I learned I cannot hold myself to a different standard than Jesus Christ holds me to.  If He forgave me, then who am I to not also forgive myself? 

Are you hanging on to an unforgiveness......of yourself? 

It's time to remove this burden from your back and hand it over to God.  He plans on drop-kicking it off the mountain you've been trying to climb, never to be seen or remembered again.  Place your tears at Jesus' feet.....you are forgiven!

"Forgiveness is UNLOCKING the door to set someone FREE

and realizing that YOU were the PRISONER."

Max Lucado

GROWING SEEDS: "The Mystery Of Grace"

THE MYSTERY OF GRACE

A few years ago, my brother, sister and I made a trip to our grandparent's old home place in a tiny town in the center of Alabama.  It had been years since any of us had been back to this place we used to visit every summer and, in all honesty, it was never a place I loved going.  The crickets were huge, there was no running water, baths were taken in the river and an outhouse was not a place you wanted to visit in the middle of the night.

My grandparents owned 200 acres of pine trees.....oh ya....and a creek that ran right through the middle.  For as long as I can remember, my grandfather in his striped overalls and his train engineer cap, along with my grandmother in her long dress with an apron....yes...always with an apron....would drive the old pickup truck down to Blue Creek and pan for gold with their grandchildren hanging out the bed of the truck.  For my siblings and cousins, this was like going to Disneyland.  For Liz, it was pure torture.

But along the orange-clay dirt road to the creek, we would always pass an old wood-frame Methodist church with a cemetery next to it.  My grandparents would eventually be buried in that very cemetery and the memory of a bee flying up my niece's skirt during my grandmother's graveside service will always be with me, but the thing about that old Methodist church I will remember the most is driving by it on Sundays and hearing the black people singing from the top of their lungs.  Not a shy or embarrassed bone in their bodies......they loved the Lord and they wanted everyone to know it.

And as my siblings and I drove up that old orange-clay dirt road once again a few years ago, I SWEAR..I could still hear them singing.  The church has long been abandoned, the windows broken out, the grass was taller than the tombstones and a mild wind could blow the walls down.  But as I walked into this room full of memories, I found this old Methodist hymnal laying open on the floor, partially eaten by rats and laying among piles of old bulletins from 1979....opened to Page 285, "The Mystery of Grace".

And I smile as I think about that person who, so many years ago, set that hymnal down on the wood plank floor, just for me to find today.

Aww....the Mystery of Grace.

" But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 

 2 Corinthians 12:9

 

GROWING SEEDS: "Depart and be with Christ, for that is far better"

For years, I prayed the same prayer.  A pleading-kind-of-prayer.
 
I prayed that when the last day of my husbands life on this earth arrived, it would come easy.  He had endured much living a life with Multiple Sclerosis and I asked God to please give him a painless rescue on that day....whenever that day would be. I prayed this same prayer for years. 

And I had no idea on this very day a year ago....that He would answer that prayer in less than 48 hours.  He placed a fishing rod in Chuck's hand on Sunday & woke him to Eternity on Monday. 

So what will it be like at that moment when we take our last breath here?  If we trust and believe in Christ, we have nothing to fear; we are PROMISED that moment will be beyond anything we can describe or imagine.  While I was talking to God in my favorite chair in the living room that Monday morning, Chuck's angels were waking him and preparing him to head Home...unbeknownst to me.  I like to “imagine” the same angels God had placed next to him at his birth, were the same angels who whispered in his ear that morning and said, “Wake up, Chuck...it’s time....it’s the day you’ve waited your whole life for.”

Our years here on earth are but a millisecond in time compared to Eternity.  If we don’t get it right here, we won’t get it right there.  Read that line again....it’s the most important line you’ll read today.

I have cried buckets of tears over this past year....just like everyone today who is celebrating & remembering the life of their loved one.  But many of those tears that have leaked out of my eyes this year have been tears of Joy that my prayers were answered for this man I deeply loved and was fortunate enough to have lived life with.  Yes, I miss the practical jokes...I miss listening for the two words, “I’m OKAY” as I hear the sound of his wheelchair crash into a door frame on the other side of the house....and I miss holding and tracing the lines in his hand with my fingertips during church.  But I know that Jesus called Chuck home because He had a better life to give him.  And I know someday, Jesus's prayer for us to be with Him will overrule our prayer for a prolonged life on earth.

May God increase our "desire' to...."depart and be with Christ, for that is far better."  Philippians 1:23

GROWING SEEDS: "Never Underestimate the Dazzling Light"

"And while he was praying, the appearance of His face changed, and His clothes became dazzling white."  

Luke 9:29

"Father, I planned on having the Hospice lady out just to chat....answer questions....fact-find really.  But while she was sitting in my living room, I saw a circle of light around her.....and I knew this was the route You wanted us to go."  (Liz Prayer Journal, 8-9-18)

Dazzling Light.  

A year ago August as we prepared to leave the Dallas hospital Chuck had been in for a week, his cardiologist sat us down, placed his hands on Chuck's knees and said, "I recommend you go on hospice."  We were shocked.....the word Hospice had never entered our minds much less our mouths.  I said, "Absolutely not" as we drove home that day...."We're not bad enough for hospice".  

But we agreed to "listen" to what they had to say.  Fact-find only.....you know, for that day in the far far future when we might need them.

She arrived a few days later.  A petite young girl who I made sure knew Chuck was no where near ready for hospice, although his entire medical history was sitting in her lap.  She smiled and said, "That's great!  Then we'll just make sure you have all the answers you need for when you do need us."  

As I fired off the questions to her that day, something strange started happening.  I noticed a small circle of light developing around her head.  At first, I thought possibly it was just a reflection of the sun, but the circle of light grew larger and brighter with each question and answer until I could no longer see her face.  Ironically, her answers started making sense for Chuck.  I was mesmerized by this light around her head....and I suddenly knew, without a doubt, this "light" was placed around her by God.  It was His sign to us.

Then from the cloud came a voice that said, “This is my Son, my Chosen; Listen To Him!” 

Luke 9:35

We listened to that Light that warm Wednesday morning in August of last year.  A "Light" that helped take the sting out of death for us three months later...much like that light surrounding Jesus on the mountain that day 2000 years ago has helped prepare the world for His departure.

And His return....

GROWING SEEDS: "Heart Eyes"

I'm a visual; meaning, I can learn easier the art of changing out my Jeep tail light by watching a "How-To- YouTube-Video" than opening my glove compartment and pulling out the instruction manual.  I'm a bit like Doubting Thomas in the Bible as I seem to have this need to "see" for myself rather than read or hear about something. 

As I was reading the story of the Road to Emmaus this week, I started "visualizing" myself walking that road with these two companions.  What would I have done if I had been walking that dirt road headed home from Jerusalem that day...full of disappointment and heartbreak?  I couldn't help but be reminded of how many times Jesus has been next to me on my own rocky road and I never recognized Him.   

What we tend to forget is, we were never meant to walk this road alone. We are so severely focused on ourselves and the weight of our struggle that we forget to look up and see the quiet Companion getting His shoes dirty next to us.  He's been there the whole time....we just refused to open our eyes and look into His.

It wasn't until Jesus broke the bread in their dining room that evening, handed them each a piece of it....a true representation of His broken body He had taught His disciples a mere 72 hours earlier....did the two on the road to Emmaus tilt their chins up and see who had been walking on the road next to them.  Jesus opened their eyes and they now saw with heart-eyes.

Sometimes He prevents us from recognizing Him so we can see with our

Hearts and Minds

before recognizing Him with our

Eyes. 

There is something so precious in the visual of Christ walking with us in our darkest hour....when we desire an answer....and His desire is that we know we have THE answer - Himself.

You are by my side...You go before me
You stand behind....You tell my fear to run
In the tragedy, You grieve with me

When I can't see...When I can't feel
When the pain is real...You are by my side

GROWING SEEDS: "Standing At A Crossroad"

 

 

"Go stand at the crossroads and look around.

Ask for directions to the old road,
The tried-and-true road.  Then take it.
Discover the right route for your souls.
But they said, "Nothing doing.  We aren't going that way."

Jeremiah 6:16-17 (MSG)

I am at a crossroads in my life right now.  I'm standing in the center of the intersection, looking east...then west....and then up.....waiting for God to grab my hand and guide me in the direction I need to go.  All I do know....is I want to go in the direction of the narrow gate, the dusty path that leads me Home.

The other morning I watched on the news as Judge Kemp, a Dallas judge, walked over to a young woman named Amber Guyger who had just been convicted of 1st degree murder....and embraced her...hugged her like a mother would hug her daughter....looked her square in the eye and encouraged her to choose the dusty eternal path.  As the judge quoted John 3:16 to Amber and to the world, she handed her a Bible to take and read in prison for the next 10 years. Why?  Because the Judge knew which road would get Amber Home safely.

I'm restless with sleepy Christians...those who are not listening to the FIRE alarms going off and to the Judge Kemps in this world....those who are living their lives for this earth and not for their true Home...who zip through these crossroads not caring whether they are on the right road or not.  As long as the road is paved and smooth, they are content.  It doesn't matter whether the road leads to Hell or not.  No amount of warning....no amount of pleading causes them to wake-up and look for that "tried-and-true" road.  The road to Hell is always a lot more fun.  Always.

Friends, today we are each standing at a crossroad....one way leads to Heaven....the other Hell.  What will be your eternal destination after this earthly life is over for you?  The most important question you will ever ask yourself is, "Which direction do I go?"

"Enter by the narrow gate.
For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction,
and those who enter by it are many.
Matthew 7:13