My New Infomercial Idea......

Tuesday, March 29, 2010

This year I'll be 50.....geeeeeeeeeeezzzzz, how in the world can that be???  And lately, I've been really feeling the "signs" of aging.......you know, like these bizarre crazy lines around my eyes; I've now got these "jowl" looking things around my mouth I never had before; and the worst...the VERY WORST thing that is happening to me are these scary, spine-chilling, hair-raising wrinkles on my neck!!  I have found myself lately walking around with my hand on the back of my neck pulllllllllling the skin to where the front of my neck looks nice and smooth...........

What to do; what to do????!!!!  My soon-to-be 30 year old niece, Jacque, (who, by the way, is in DENIAL that she's turning 30 this year..) was down this weekend for a Calloway Family Spring Birthday Weekend along with the whole family.  I convinced her to help me out with a little project I've been thinking about a lot lately.  It involved Liz's neck and duct tape.  Can you see where I'm headed with this??  As I pulled the skin tight on my neck, I had her duct tape it in place in the back.  Now, before you shoot this idea down, let me just say, IT WORKED!  I let my hair cover the duct tape and I looked instantly 10 years younger!  No kidding.......it was an amazing transformation!  I'm seriously working on plans for an Infomercial.......

BUT, there was really only one hitch to this instant, inexpensive, magical facelift idea........it hurt like Bat Doopy when it came time to remove the duct tape!!  At one point, my relatives were taking bids on who was going to get the "luxury" of yanking the duct tape off........I believe it was my sister who finally won and decided the "best" way was the "fast" way......I'm not completely positive it was Debbie who won, cause the pain was so severe, my eyes blurred, a high pitched squeel was coming out of my mouth and dogs started barking throughout the neighborhood.  This part is a little fuzzy to me........

But I can't help but think I may be on to something here.......I've got a little work to do on the details, but I'm well on my way to a new moneymaker idea here........

(Taking Magic Duct Tape Off)

Nothing is Impossible........just ask Cinderella!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Ahhhhh......just finished watching Cinderella......you know, the one and only "original" Cinderella with Leslie Ann Warren and a much younger Dr. Alan Quartermaine (the Prince) from General Hospital.  Not the cartoon Cinderella; not the remake Cinderella; or any of the 1500 versions of the basic story, but the original 1964 Cinderella with the lame cardboard backgrounds and the low budget theatrics........I can remember it being like CHRISTMAS whenever they would play this on TV each year when I was little........Mom would always let us know it was coming on several days in advance and the anticipation of this classic was just almost too much.  Do I love this musical because it is beautiful.......or is it beautiful because I love it??

You see, I was a fat, insecure, not-so-cute little tub of lard with a pixie haircut and cat-eye glasses from birth till about 7th grade, so I really needed Cinderella.......I needed her cause she stood for "Nothing Is Impossible" (you're singing the song in your head right now, aren't you girls??).....You see, Cinderella gave me hope......

So tonight my beautiful sister Debbie, my fabulous niece Jacque and me snuggled into the TV room recliners, chips and homemade salsa by our side, laptop googled to "lyrics to original Cinderella" page up so we could sing along, and tissues close by, and watched one of our favorite movies of all times together...........that is, until Debbie's dentist husband Brady came in and started critiquing Cinderella's teeth.......Ughhhhh................MEN!!!!  Who needs them?????

 

Never Drive A Lawnmower Over Tank 2

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


You know,  living in the country at the lake is nothing at all like living in the city.  For those of you who, like me, have never lived in the country before, there is a lot to learn.  A lot!  The bugs are bigger out here; we have armadillos in our front yard; killing a big snake is a common occurrence; you have to learn to sleep without the sound of police helicopters hovering over your house; AND the biggest adjustment; comprehending how the sewer system works.

Did you know that the earth was not created with an already established underground sewer system in place?  My entire life I lived in the city and never once did I wonder about the sewer system.  I guess I just thought the sewer system was created on Day 3 with the first appearance of dry ground.  But surprise surprise.........it wasn't!

At the lake, we have something called a "septic system" in our yards.  I had never heard of a septic system prior to moving to the country, but I "intimately" know all about the septic system now.   Without going into too much detail, here's the lowdown on country crap:  You have 3 huge underground tanks in your front yard, two of them have large round green lids; the "crap" goes out of the house into Tank 1; it sloshes around in there for awhile, solids drop to the bottom, and the "crap" that isn't "crap" anymore heads on over to Tank 2.....where it sloshes around some more, gets chewed on by tiny little bacteria bugs and then heads on over to Tank 3 for a final rinse.  At this time, it gets mixed with bleach and then..........get ready...........dispels out  your sprinkler system.  Oh ya, you heard me right; OUT YOUR SPRINKLER SYSTEM (Note to City Friends:  Bad idea to let the kids play in the sprinkler system in the country!).

Why am I telling you this, you ask?  Because you need to know how dangerous these septic tanks are.  You need to know what can happen if you run over one of these septic green lids with the lawnmower.

Shortly after we moved to the lake, we purchased our first riding lawnmower.  I was driving along singing to myself on the mower when I came upon the row of septic tank lids.  I remember thinking, "I should probably lift the blade on the mower before going over these" when suddenly the mower stalled out.  Yep........the blade was stuck on the lid of Tank 2.  Really Stuck!   I've got to tell ya, my Charlie was none too happy about my trying to mow the septic lid!  As we tried pushing the mower off the lid, it suddenly gave way and, seeing as I was on the back of the mower when it gave way, I next found myself "falling" into the hole where Tank 2's lid used to be.  (I seriously just heard you go "eeeeeww"....didn't you??)

Actually, only half of me went in the hole.....one WHOLE leg.......and the pain; ohhhh.....such pain!  And there's my Charlie, my sweet sweet Charlie, looking back at me from the front of the mower trying to find the perfect words.....and all he comes up with, "Get out of there, Liz!"......

Now that the pain has subsided and the bruises are gone, I can sordof laugh about it.  AND, I'm relieved to know that some good did come out of this experience.  I no longer am allowed to mow the yard..........

Have You Ever Had a Cat "Pee" on you??? Me Either......

Monday, March 22, 2010


Have you ever had a cat "pee" on you??    Me either.......at least not before this past weekend.  Let me explain. .......

Our granddaughters, Bella and Brie, arrived at the lake around 2:30 on Saturday afternoon with their dad, Troy, to visit for Charlie's Birthday Weekend.  You've got to understand one thing about Bella and Brie; the girls can't have a cat at their house cause their mother is allergic to cats, so whenever they get a chance to head to Grandpa Charlie and Lele's house, they really, REALLY look forward to playing with Kruger the 1-Claw Cat.  That being said, it was all of 2:45 by the time they "cornered" and "captured" Kruger from under the bed.  After dragging the poor thing out, dressing her up in play clothes, handing her back and forth to each other, then handing her over to me to hold while they put a new skirt on her, Kruger had simply had enough.

She cut loose.........whoaaaaa........pee everywhere!  Pee all over me, pee all over Brie's boot and pee all over the rug, not to mention the stuffed animal that I tossed Kruger the Cat on to after feeling warm cat pee running down my jeans leg.......

It was now 3:00 pm.

The girls thought this was about the funniest thing they've ever seen...........matter of fact, when they left 24 hours later, they were still laughing about Kruger the Cat peeing on Lele.

You know, I feel it's every grandparents job to keep their grandchildren entertained, don't you??  Next time, it's Grandpa Charlie's turn to hold the cat, though.

Check Out More On Our Fun Weekend At:
http://www.lizetheridge.com

My Charlie Is A Homebuilder.........AND it's His Birthday!

Sunday, March 21, 2010



Today is my Charlie's Birthday.......and on that note, it occurred to me the other day while looking through some old pictures, that you guys really don't know just how talented my Charlie is; he can do literally anything.  SO........since he's kinda modest and easy going and won't tell you himself, I will.

This is also a good time to remind most of you that my Charlie struggles daily with Multiple Sclerosis. This disease is a terrible, no good, very bad disease that affects many aspects of his life, yet he refuses to sit down and stop living.  He just keeps that very warped sense of humor of his and looks at each day as a new start.

Ever since Charlie and I have been grandparents, we have enjoyed "making" our granddaughters' stuff for Christmas.   Our granddaughters are very very blessed to have three sets of grandparents who love making sure they "want" for nothing....... which sometimes makes it difficult when it comes to gift buying.  So Charlie and I decided pretty early on to limit the gifts to 3 each at Christmas; afterall, if its good enough for Baby Jesus, its good enough for our granddaughters (thanks to my good friend, Suzanne, for sharing this family tradition of hers!  I love it!).  And one of these three gifts would be something we made ourselves.

So, several years ago, we decided to make them a "playhouse within the house".  Our son and his family had just moved into a new home in Allen and had a large playroom upstairs that would be perfect for this "playhouse within the house".  After getting the dimensions of the room from our son, Charlie and I sat down at our kitchen table and designed out every little girl's dream playhouse....actually, 1/2 of a playhouse.  We took the designed playhouse and literally cut it in half on paper.  Chuck used piano hinges so it could be transported easily (well.....not exactly "easily" but successfully!) from our garage to their house in Allen 100 miles away.  He designed and cut each piece of wood, each shutter, each window.....he was amazing!  And the playhouse was fabulous!  We decorated the interior with wallpaper, fabric and a tiny chandelier, along with a couple MDF chalkboard silhouettes of the youngest granddaughter and their dog Laguna.

As you can see, it fits the girls perfectly!  They now have a home for their thousands of baby dolls; a kitchen to bake their imaginary cakes in; a place to hide during "Hide and Seek"; and a place they can call their own.

Grandpa and Lele (that's us!!)  just hope they enjoy playing in it as much as we did making it.

This is from Charlie's oldest granddaughter, Bella, who is 7 years old who came to visit her grandpa this weekend and wish him a very very 

Happy Birthday

This is from Charlie's youngest granddaughter, Brie, who is 5 years old who also wishes Grandpa Charlie a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Petapaloosa Was Rained Out.......BUT.........

Saturday, March 20, 2010

DANG!  We were rained out of the Petapaloosa where Murphy and Charlie were being entered into the Pet/Owner Look-A-Like Contest.......and they had an excellent chance of winning the Trophy on this too!  Check it out.......I can hardly tell them apart!

Anyway, Murphy was so bummed about it that he INSISTED on wearing his overalls and shoes around the house all day..........poor thing; he was so disappointed!

Now, I know what you're thinking.......Liz has lost her mind.....why is she dressing her husband and dog up alike and what exactly does Charlie have to say about all of this.............Am I right???  Of course I'm right......that's what I would be saying if it were YOU doing this........But you have to admit, they look so adorable together, don't they?  Yep, they sure do!

So, since I've already lost my mind, why not check out the short little video clip of Murphy in his shoes and overalls!  I think you'll like it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcjNP0AO0VE

Happy "Almost" Birthday, Charlie!!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Happy Almost Birthday, Charlie!!!

In two days, my Charlie is having a Birthday!  So to help him celebrate, I have registered him for a Pet-Owner Look Alike Contest at the Mt. Vernon Petapaloosa Contest tomorrow!  If all goes as planned, we should arrive home with the trophy and, I've got to tell ya, I think we have a very very very good shot at winning this puppy!!   See the resemblance??  Yep, me too!

Sooooooo.........keep your fingers crossed and I'll report back, with pictures and trophy, tomorrow!!

Ever Wanted To Drive A Dozer??

Friday, March 12, 2010

Is there something in your life that you've always wanted to do but never had the courage to do?  Maybe its something like skydiving or learning to fly a plane or maybe learning to rock a fireplace.  Well, I've always wanted to drive a bulldozer.

Living at the lake has given me certain "opportunities" to accomplish this lifelong dream of mine.  Opportunities I wouldn't have otherwise had living in the city.  Like the time they were dredging our neighbors boathouse and left the backhoe on the floating barge for several nights.  Those workers obviously had no idea how enticing their backhoe was to the 46 year old lady next door (ME....I was younger back then) cause once the workers left for the day, I would go hop on the backhoe and proceed to move the dirt from the lake to the seawall, back to the lake, back to the seawall, then back to the lake.....well, you get the point.  I was in backhoe-Heaven!

But then there was the time the same neighbors had a HUGE dozer parked in their driveway for a few days.  I can't remember "why" they had a dozer in their driveway, but they did and it kept calling my name......"Lizzzzz......Take Me For A Ride.......Hop On.....it'll be fun....you're a professional dozer driver..."  After about 3 days, I could stand it no longer.  I decided I would just "start it up" to see how it sounded.  I climbed up in the seat, discovered they hadn't left a key (DANG) so started fiddling with knobs, controls, clutches and suddenly, this massive "piece of work" diesel came alive.  WHOAAAAA........we were now heading towards the best day of my life!  After inhaling the aromatic fumes of the diesel engine, and hearing the purrrrrrr of this fantastic puppy, I decided, "Why not just move it up and down the driveway a few times.......what could that hurt??"
(and yes, that's me in the yellow top explaining to my neighbor how I turned it on...)

So that's what I did.....forward a few feet; backward a few feet......I was tingling with happiness.  About this time,  I could see Charlie coming out of our house (more than likely due to the ground vibration from the massive diesel engine) who insisted I turn it off so I could hear him yelling at me.  But "how" did I turn it on in the first place??  I had just pushed and pulled some buttons and knobs and really didn't know what I did to turn it on......

Unfortunately, nothing I did could get this massive piece of work to turn off.  Charlie tried to turn it off.....NOPE.  The other neighbor came over and tried to turn it off.....NOPE.    Liz tried again......NOPE.  We called a friend who knows something about dozers....NOPE, NOPE, NOPE.  Charlie then tried to cut the fuel line......NOPE........it just kept purring......  We then went online to the Caterpillar website to pull up the schematics of that model.....NOPE....still running.  It finally ran out of gas about 10:00 that night, thank goodness, cause none of us were getting any sleep until it did.

Hummmm........I'm not real sure why I'm telling you this story.........

DECORATING 101: GUEST BEDROOM - What's A Girl To Do??

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

BEFORE

AFTER

What's a girl to do when she's completely out of rooms to paint?  Easy......she starts on her neighbor's house!

Yep, I had painted every wall in our house at least twice and was craving more walls to paint and decorate..........so I convinced my neighbor Kim to let me do a "Trading Spaces" type makeover on one of her extra bedrooms that she hadn't had time to do anything with yet.   She gave me a budget, which, if I remember correctly, was about $250-$300 to put towards this makeover.

This was soo much fun!  RULES:  I had full control of the makeover; she didn't see the room until it was completely done; and as long as I stayed in the budget,  I had carte blanche on what to do!  YIPPPPEEEE...

We started with white walls, no headboard, no curtains, Bed-in-a-Bag linens and no end tables or lamps.  I found this fantastic headboard in my attic, which was actually a decorative architectural wall piece I found at Horche Finale outlet store many years prior for about $50.  It had some minor damage to it that wasn't easily visible and had been in my attic for several years.  The linens were such a find!  Located these at Tuesday Morning (the large warehouse distribution center) and were so very INexpensive.  This was a crinkle fabric duvet cover that came in a package no larger than 6" x 6".....had to search other Tuesday Morning stores for the shams, but finally found them.  Don't ever forget; it's the "hunt" that creates the "fun"!  I then found these great throw pillows at TJ Maxx which determined our wall color and the curtains are 100% silk purchased at, of all places, Habitat for Humanity.  I purchased an extra set of curtains which were cut up to make the bedskirt.

But the BEST part; yaaaaa, the VERY BEST PART in my opinion was the idea to make a type of 4-Poster effect with sheer fabric.  This was incredibly easy; very inexpensive; and EASY to do.....Here's how we made this look:  We first purchased inexpensive sheer fabric (paid about $2 a yard.......to determine how much fabric you need, simply measure the height from floor to ceiling.....usually, 8', 9' or 10', double that number and add an extra foot).  Find some "rings" that you can hang from the ceiling...Chuck made these rings for me and they are just made out of thin wood.....run half the fabric through the ring and you are done!  Do this on all four ends of the bed and you've got a truly unforgettable, romantic look.

I realize that most men might find this look a little "chicky" for them, but hey, they'll get over it.  Do I tell them how to organize their garage?   Naahhhhhh

Anyway, I loved how this room turned out..... It was a room I would love to stay in....would love to have in my house..........too bad its in my neighbor's house!!

Decorating 101: "KITCHEN"

Tuesday, March 9, 2010


For some reason, I find it very important to have a nice functional kitchen.  Now, for those of you who know me best, please pick yourself up off the floor and stop the hysterical laughing......right now!   Cooking just isn't one of my "blessings"......I'd rather go to the dentist than have to prepare a meal.....it just doesn't come natural or make sense to me......I'm best known for my killer (not literally) grilled cheese sandwiches and my baking abilities.  The only reason I even like to "bake" is so I can leave a large LARGE amount of batter in the bowl and eat it while the rest of the batter is baking........BUT, it is critical to have a nice functional kitchen.....in case you have company who knows how to cook or something!!

Anyway, thought I'd take you on a tour of our Kitchen today.  Some of the changes we've made to the kitchen include changing out the countertops and painting.

I've added the "Liz-touch" by painting a favorite phrase of mine on the wall....

We took a door off one cabinet and Chuck made some dowls so we could place the plates in it.....

We then took out the solid piece from the center of several doors and replaced it with glass.....Easy, inexpensive touch that I have been so pleased with......

Found this neat little "church" mirror at Kirklands in the scratch and Dent section and it fit perfectly behind the cooktop against a plain tiled wall....

Took a plain frame, again from Kirklands Scratch and Dent section ($15), added a piece of wood that I painted with chalkboard paint and hung in the Butlers Pantry.....












And how cool is this....again in the Butlers Pantry...we needed a place to put Kitty Kruger's Poop Box, so we "hid" it in a pretty cabinet; and so long as Kruger doesn't gain too much weight, she fits between the slats and no one knows its there!

And here's the Butlers Pantry......

And folks, that's the Kitchen.....Can't say I know how to cook in it, but I sure like to decorate it!

The Bachelor: I Give It 4 Weeks......

March 7, 2010


Did you watch the season finale of The Bachelor??  I would have "liked" to, but unfortunately, God had a different idea (yep, you heard me right; I'm giving Him credit for this one).........

On the Monday of the season finale, I worked all day filing, filing, filing from 8 in the morning to 6 at night .....I HATE to file......I have often times thought I should pay someone to file for me since I hate it so much, but then I would have to live with the guilt of being such a lazy slacker and not doing it myself, so twice a year, I force myself to file.   But none of this is the subject of this Blog.......so let's move on....

I'm going to admit something here to ya that I'm really not proud of.......I really hate to tell you this....but its important, so I must..........I was "suppose" to attend my weekly Ladies Bible Study group on Monday night; the same Monday night of the Bachelor season finale.  UGH.....I knew what the right thing to do was; I knew this totally lame, unimportant reality series shouldn't trump Ladies Bible Study group, but I justified that I had worked all day filing and "deserved" to stay home and watch The Bachelor; afterall, it was raining outside and it could be dangerous driving to Winnsboro in the dark and rain......right??

So I stayed home....but first; I layed out my snacks, my bottled water, blanket and hit the Media Room recliner about 6:55 pm just in time to watch 3 hours of The Bachelor.  This was going to be a big night; Jake the pilot from Dallas was picking either Tensley, the too cute, too perky 25 year old from Oregon that I had been rooting for since the beginning 6 weeks earlier OR Vienna, the 23 year old prior Hooters waitress, loose and easy chick (did I just say "easy"???)  that all the others girls hated from Florida.

I believe it was about 6:59 when the screen went black, elevator music suddenly started playing and a message popped up on the TV screen that said something like, "Please don't call us.  We are aware you have no satellite signal.....Please stand by while we continue to irritate you...DISH SATELLITE"  Oh ya,  I think I waited about 10 minutes before scanning the internet trying to watch it online....nope....couldn't do that.  I then went on Twitter.....there were a few places Twittering it, so I jumped in waiting two minutes to find out "Jake's mom seems to really like Tensley..."  and then 3 minutes later, "Jake's mom seems to really hate Vienna" and then 4 minutes later, "Jake's mom now likes Vienna"......errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........the whole time realizing this was God's way of pointing out the error of my ways.  Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........  Oh ya, I KNEW!

It was a little over an hour into the show; our screen was still showing "Don't call us...." and playing Moon River as background music, when Chuck suddenly said, "You know, I think Kris and Steve next door have DirectTV...I wonder if they have satellite signal."  We have DishSatellite, so it was definitely worth a phone call.  Sure enough, they were sitting down there watching The Bachelor all along, never being forced to listen to that irritating music and waiting inpatiently for the next 5 word Twitter message. You see why I was embarrassed to tell you this?  Well, as soon as I could get my shoes on, I raced out the door yelling back to Chuck to "Hurry.......I'm going on ahead of you" as I raced through the rain and mud puddles all the way to Kris and Steve's.

So here's the bottom line for those of you who aren't as shallow and lame as me:  He picked the wrong chick.......oh ya, this typical hot-blooded male picked the Hooters girl who is best known to have stolen $5,000 out of her ex-husband's bank account for a boob job.  All I have to say is "Good luck with that, Jake......I've got $50 on the fact Vienna will be history in 4 weeks...."  If only you would have listened to me as I yelled at you through the TV screen!!  And if only I had listened to that still small voice that said, "Go to Bible Study, Liz!"