Lucinda & The Piece of Crap Boat

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Last week, I was helping a friend, who I'm going to call Lucinda Yawatta to protect her identity, to check out a used boat on Lake Fork.  Now Lucinda and I had agreed to meet around 12:45 at the Winnsboro Dairy Queen, directly after I finished delivering my Meals on Wheels.  Have you noticed that in East Texas everything evolves around Dairy Queen??  But I digress.......about 12:30, I realize that I still have 4 meals to deliver and time's-a-runnin' out....so, I tossed the last four meals to the Meals on Wheels folk and headed on down  to Dairy Queen.

After jumping in her vehicle and getting about 15 miles down the road, we both hear a loud buzzer going off.  I looked at her, she looked at me and we then determined it was the gas gauge buzzing at us.  She seemed REAL nervous about that (things like that happen to me ALL the time, so I don't usually sweat it out until the car quits...) and I could see beads of sweat forming on her forehead.  She then told me she thought we had another 20 miles before running out of gas.  I think it was about this time we saw the sign that said 15 miles to Winnsboro and 15 miles to Emory...dang....we were right smack in between and seriously in the middle of nowhereland without a gas station in site.

We were scheduled to meet a friend of hers, who we were going to follow to the used boat, at an intersection at Lake Fork, which I need to tell ya, we had no idea how to get to.   Lucinda is now starting to PANIC ......she is really sweating now and talking very fast........and decides she needs to call her friend at the intersection to let her know we were running late.  She grabs her phone, dials the number.......it was about this same time, my phone rings......I answer it and hear Lucinda talking 100 mph IN MY PHONE. I look over at her and she's totally oblivious that she just called ME..... I let her finish explaining our predicament before poking her arm and saying, "Hey, I know!"   I would give my eye-tooth to have a picture of her face when she realized she called the wrong number....

It wasn't long before we stumbled upon the "Lucky Charms" of gas stations........a Shamrock Station and she could breathe easy again.   She wiped the sweat off her brow, slowed her speech down and experienced happiness once more.  Well, that is until we saw the "prestine" used boat.  Uhhh.........I don't think "prestine" would have been the word I used........more like "Piece of Crap".......  And the nice lady trying to sell this "Prestine Piece of Crap".....welllllll..........she needs to attend "Bad Boaters Driving School" cause I think we hit every stump in Lake Fork!  I found it ironic that she kept pointing out the stumps on the fish finder yet we kept hitting every one of them.  And just when we thought it couldn't get worse......... it started raining.......

Needless to say; Lucinda didn't buy the boat.